Blind Date
by pdshalstud
Summary: Linstead AU. Erin Lindsay is a nurse who just moved back to Chicago, after being in New York, and gets set up on a blind date with Detective Jay Halstead. Are the blind date stereotypes true, or will they be able to make through? Rated M for future chapters
1. Chapter 1

Blind Date Chapter 1

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

I don't know why I ever agreed to go on this blind date that my brother and sister in law set me up on. And now I feel really bad that I have to cancel because we caught a case. Supposedly they just started working with this nurse at Med, but Will was a resident at the same hospital she became a nurse at in New York.

"Hello." Will says as he picks up the phone

"Hey." I answer pausing briefly before getting to the point of why I'm calling.

"Uh so I'm going to have to-" I start but he cuts me off

"Let me guess you can't go on the date?"

"No sorry, we caught a case."

"Yeah, yeah, so do you want me to see if she wants to reschedule?" He asks

"No that's alright."

"Are you sure? She's-"

"Yeah my loss, but look Will I got to go, I'll talk to you later."

"Ok yeah, talk t-" He begins but I hang up as I get out of my truck, and walk over to the rest of the team on the scene.

XXXXXX

Erin's POV

I'm just finishing my hair for this blind date I stupidly agreed to go on, when Natalie calls me.

"Hello?" I say into the phone

"Hi."

"What's up?"

"Uh so you know how I told you that Will's brother is a cop right?"

"He can't make it." I sigh into the phone, with a hint of disappointment, but I don't know why.

"Yeah I apologize."

"It's alright, I was raised by a cop I get it."

"Maybe you guys can do something another time."

"Yeah maybe, thanks for giving me a call Nat, I'm going to call the sitter, and let her know she doesn't have to come tonight." I say to her

"Ok sorry again. I'll see you tomorrow."

"It's ok, thanks for giving me a heads up and yeah see you tomorrow."

"No problem, Bye."

"Bye Nat." As soon as I hang up, there's a knock at the door. "Shit" I mutter to myself as I make my way to the door.

"Hey Grace, I was just about to call you, but my date cancelled, so you don't have to babysit him tonight."

"Oh sorry to hear about your date, I can still watch him, if you just want a night to yourself."

"Thanks, but I think we're just going to have movie night or something."

"Ok, well I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Ok have a goodnight Grace."

"Thanks you too." She says, as she turns to leave.

I lock the door, and go back to my room; getting dressed in a pair of pajamas, before going to see what little man's up to in his room. His door is open a crack, and I push lightly, and peek in the bright blue room. He's sitting on a little chair, at the trunk at the foot of his bed, and he's concentrating on coloring in one of his coloring books. I tip toe over to him, and look at the now colorful page with a blue tiger on it, and I giggle to myself at how much he loves blue.

"Hey little man, that tiger looks really good."

"Thanks-th" he says with a lisp.

"When you're done, what do you say we watch a movie?"

"Yay!" He says excitedly, closing the book. I knew he'd be excited as he's not allowed to watch TV too much, cause I don't want him to grow up glued to technology. He has an iPad, but he's only allowed on it two hours everyday, and so far he hasn't seemed to mind.

"Can we watch Wreck it Ralph?"

"Sure buddy." I say with another giggle, we don't have nights of just me and him often, but when we do, Wreck it Ralph seems to be his movie of choice. I start the movie and go to put a pizza in the oven.

We eat, and he laughs at every other thing on the screen. His favorite part is when Fix it Felix and Sergeant Calhoun get stuck in the Nesquik sand. His laughter echoes through the apartment, as she hits him over and over. I smile at the pure innocence. When the movie is over its time for bed for him. We walk to his room, and he climbs in his bed. I tuck him in and grab a book to read to him. He finally falls asleep half way through the third story. I kiss his forehead before turning on his night light, and leaving the room. I go back to the kitchen, and clean up a little. Once satisfied I turn the lights off, and head to my room. I lay down, and turn the TV on; flipping through the channels before settling on Big Brother, falling asleep not long after that.

XXXXXX

One Week Later

I wake up to my alarm blaring obnoxiously. I groan as roll over to turn it off. Once the ringing stops I bring my hand up to my face, and rub my eyes as I sit up. I slowly get out of the bed, and make my way to the bathroom, and take a shower. When I get out I walk back out into my room, and grab some clean scrubs to throw on. I go into Cole's room to see if he's awake, but he's not. I just leave him sleep, since it's Saturday. I walk to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee. A few minutes later there's a light knock on the door. I walk to the front of the apartment, and look through the peep hole, before opening the door.

"Hey Grace, um he's still sleeping, but if he doesn't wake up in the next hour I'd wake him, just so his schedule doesn't get messed up. I should be home around seven thirty."

"Ok sounds good Ms. Lindsay."

"Grace, please call me Erin."

"Right sorry." She says with a shy smile

"Text me if you need anything, and I'll try to get back to you as quickly as possible."

"I'm sure we'll be fine, but ok, see you later."

"Thanks Grace." I say as I grab my keys and leave the apartment, hearing the lock click as I step away from the door.

I try to prepare myself for the twelve hour shift ahead, during the fifteen minute drive to the hospital, though it never seems to work.

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

I'm finishing up my paperwork from our most recent case when my phone starts to vibrate on my desk. I flip it over, and look at who's calling. I groan quietly as I pick up my phone, and make my way to the break room.

"What do you want Will?"

"What I cant just call to check in on my little brother?"

"Is that what you're doing?"

"No."

"Exactly, so what do you want?"

"Natalie, and I are going on a date tomorrow night."

"Congrats, what the hell does that mean to me?"

"Well she may have invited Erin too."

"Never thought you'd get to live out that threesome fantasy of yours Will." I say with a chuckle, but my brother doesn't find my joke very funny, as he sighs into the phone.

"I'm glad you think you're so funny, but it means that you're coming too."

"What?"

"Jay it's one date. I think you'll really like her." Natalie pipes in from somewhere in the background.

"Fine, text me the time and place. I got to go." I say, not even saying bye, before hanging up. I go back to my desk and finish my paperwork, and then leave.

XXXXXX

Erin's POV

I'm standing outside the DMK Burger Bar waiting for Will, Natalie, and Will's brother to get here. After about ten minutes, I check my phone for what must have been the tenth since getting here. It's then that I hear footsteps walking up behind me. I turn my head to the side, and see a man coming to a stop just a few feet away. I turn my body now so I'm facing the same direction as this handsome stranger. I turn my attention back to the phone in my hands, and I feel his eyes on me. I look up and over at him, and he pretends to have been looking at his phone.

"Anyone ever tell you its rude to stare?" I work up the courage to say to him.

"I wasn't staring." He says looking back up at me, his blue green eyes, and smirk make me weak, and then I realize that smirk looks familiar.

"Just admiring." He says, with a wink. He's definitely a Halstead. I think to myself. I smile, and feel myself blushing, as my face becomes warm.

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

As I walk up to the restaurant, I see this gorgeous brunette dressed in a black dress, standing near the entrance, she's looking down at her phone. I silently hope this is my date that Will and Natalie have been so keen on setting me up with, as I can't help but state at her, and it seems she notices as she looks up and over at me, I try and act like I was looking at my phone, but she sees through it. Then she talks, and her raspy voice, and the sass of her remark, brings her beauty to another level. I reply in a way that feels completely natural, hoping not to put her off, but the small smile I get; showcasing her dimples tells me I didn't overstep any boundaries.

"I see you guys have met already, so we can just head inside" Will says as they walk over to us. 'Thank God' I think you myself, as this would have been really awkward if she wasn't my date.

"Sorry we're late, the sitter was running a little behind." Natalie says as they walk over to the doors of the restaurant.

"It's alright." She says to her

"Jay." I say extending my hand out to Erin? If I remember correctly.

"Erin." She says, shaking my hand.

"Nice to meet you."

"So did you know I was your date tonight, or do you flirt with every random girl you see standing outside a restaurant?"

"Oh restaurants, book stores, hospitals, you know wherever my charm is needed." I say with a chuckle, but she keeps a straight face, and my smile falls.

"You call that charm?" She asks seriously, but after a few seconds, she lets out a little giggle, winking, and giving me another smile, her hazel eyes twinkling a little and my knees damn near buckle, as she turns to walk towards the restaurant. Maybe this blind date wouldn't be bad after all.

XXXXXX

 **A/N: Ok so I'm not quite sure how I feel about this. I had this whole fic planned out, for weeks in my head, buutttt I don't know, hopefully it'll get better, and I hope you guys like it, if you do please review. Sorry again for any and all mistakes, my laptop is broke so this was once again written on my phone. If its not your thing, don't comment or review, your negativity is not wanted nor i** **s it needed. Thanks, and Much Love.**


	2. Chapter 2

Erin's POV

During dinner, Natalie and Will talk about Owen, how he's counting, and knows his ABC's, and it makes me smile, and think of Cole. I bite my tongue, and stop myself from bringing him up. I don't want to scare the guy away. So I just sit, quietly nodding and smiling at the appropriate times. Once we're all done eating, the guys go pay at the door. Leaving Natalie and I at the table.

"So what do you think of him so far?" She asks facing me after waiting until the two brothers were out of ear shot.

"I don't really know Nat, we've only just met, but he seems nice, a little cocky, but I'm guessing that's a Halstead thing."

"Yes it is." She says looking back towards the guys as they make their way back to the table.

"Well Natalie and I are going to go on the Ferris wheel-" Will starts

"Unless you want us to stay back." Natalie says cutting him off

"No we'll be ok, you guys can go." I say, with a smile.

We all exit the restaurant, and Will and Natalie head off in the direction of the now lit up wheel. We walk in the same direction, just at a slower pace.

"So Will told me that you're old friends?"

"Yeah, he dated my friend on and off during mine and her last two years of college, and then his residency was at the same hospital I became a nurse at in New York."

"And now you're working with him again, lucky you." He says jokingly

"Not technically, I'm a pediatric nurse, so I don't always work with them, unless a patient comes in through the ED."

"Ah, so what brings you to Chicago?"

"I grew up here actually." I say.

"So I came back for my family."

"mm" he hums, nodding his head.

"So why New York then?"

"I don't know, I got accepted to a university there, and at the time, I was in need of a change." I say, the little white lie coming off my tongue with ease.

XXXXXX

Third Person POV

"So you're a Detective?" She asks as they walk around the Navy Pier.

"Uh yeah, just joined a new unit last week actually." He answers, looking at her as she looks out at the water.

"And that's why you cancelled our date, a half hour before we were supposed to meet?" She says with a smile, letting him know she's not mad.

"Yeah sorry about that."

"You should be, do you know how long it took me to get ready, just to end up hanging out at home?" She says almost seriously, but grins at him, when he looks down.

"I'm kidding Jay, I get it. And I'm actually glad you didn't let me show up at the restaurant and sit there by myself." She says with a light chuckle

"I wouldn't do that." He says

'Damn' She thinks to herself as he flashes her another one of his grins.

"What unit?"

"Mm? Oh uh intelligence."

"Intelligence? Like as in Hank Voight's unit?"

"Yeah, you know Voight?"

"You can say that." She says looking up at him. Their eyes lock on each other's, and he can tell there's a story there. He wants to ask her what she means, but he doesn't want to seem pushy. So he'll wait. They near the Ferris wheel, and she stares up at it with a look of amazement on her face.

"Do you want to go on too?" He asks her.

"Um that's ok." She says

"Have you ever been?" He asks her next, and she just shakes her head.

"Its pretty cool, I mean I haven't been on since I was a kid, but I'm sure it hasn't changed all that much."

"Rides honestly make me nervous."

"So you didn't go on rides as a kid? Not even at a carnival or an amusement park?" He asks, and he feels bad as she shakes her head again.

"We have to go on then."

"I don't know." She says as he walks her towards the ticket booth

"I promise there's nothing to be scared of."

"I never said I was scared, just nervous." She says looking at him, before taking another glance at the wheel.

"Right." He says with a smirk, as they walk through the gate, and stand there as the operator, brings the next box car around, letting the people off, before signaling for the two of them to step up. Jay puts his hand out, and she cautiously places her hand on top of his as she steps into the pod. Once she's seated, he climbs in, and sits next to her. Their bodies jerk, when the wheel starts to move, and her hand flies to grip his knee tightly. He's a little taken back at first, but smiles at her, and watches as she takes in the view. Her dimples pop as a smile of her own makes it's way onto her face. Their bodies jerk again as they come to a stop at the top, the grip on his knee that seemed to have loosened after the first few seconds of their ride, tightens again briefly before she lets out a shaky breath, and relaxes it again.

"This view is breathtaking." She says looking out at their city, the lights of the buildings providing a beautiful contrast to the darkening sky serving as a backdrop to the unique skyline. She turns her head to look at him, and smiles. His eyes don't leave hers, as he says

"Yeah it is."

She giggles, uncharacteristically and he smiles as he looks down, hoping its dark enough to hide the fact that he's blushing. Her hand stays relaxed on his knee, and they don't talk for the rest of their ride.

"See that wasn't too bad was it?" He says as they walk back towards the restaurant.

"No it was fun." She answers, with a smile and then there's a few more moments of silence.

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

"Yeah it was. Maybe we could do this again sometime?" I say nervously, not quite sure how to get across that I want to see her again; actually not wanting the night.

"I'd like that" She says, stopping when we get to the curb and turning to the side to face me and I do the same.

"Can I see your phone?" She asks shyly.

"Uh sure." I say confused, while fishing my phone out of my pocket. I hand it to her, and she goes to my contacts, creating her own contact. She looks at the phone, and keeps it in her hand for a free more seconds before handing it back to me. She looks back at the giant wheel that is now blue, before looking back at me.

"Maybe you can call me sometime?" She says

"Oh definitely." I answer as she walks towards her car. I stand there briefly staring in that direction, even as her car disappears, then I walk back to my own car.

I go to Molly's to hang out with the unit for a few hours, before heading home.

Her smile, her laugh, her raspy voice, stay with me for the next few days, before I decide to text her.

 _Do you have any plans for Saturday night? -Jay_

She doesn't reply for a few hours, and I'm afraid she gave me a phony number, but then my phone vibrates against my desk.

 _I was starting to think you didn't mean what you said the other night about wanting to hang out again. -Erin_

I chuckle as I think of a reply.

Jay: _I had to play it cool, not seem too desperate._

Erin: _Uh-huh. But to answer your question, no I don't have any plans._

Jay: _Would like to go on a date with me then?_

Erin: _Depends, what'd you have in mind?_

Jay: _I know a guy that just opened his own restaurant near the West Loop._

I send her, followed by

Jay: _It's still new so it's hasn't been too busy_

Erin: _You've thought about this._

Jay: _Just a little._ 'Who am I kidding, I've thought about this a lot.' I think before finishing the message. _So what do you say?_

Erin: _Sounds nice._

Jay: _Pick you up at 6?_

Erin: _Yeah, great see you then._ She texts as I climb into my truck.

Jay: _Where should I pick you up?_ I text back, then running my hand up and down my face. I close my eyes, and lean back against the black leather of my seat. As images of her play in my head, like her hair blowing ever so slightly in the light wind, or the way her eyes twinkled when she gave me one of her dimpled smiles. Those images continue to replay in my mind, throughout the night and into the next couple of days, even with the distraction of work and Molly's. 'Maybe Saturday wasn't a good idea.' I think to myself as I walk out of the district. 'It's only two days away but I NEED to see her again, NOW.'

Jay: _Hey_

I text once again from my truck still in the district parking lot.

Erin: _Hey_

She texts back as I park in front of my favorite Chinese restaurant.

Jay: _How was your day?_

Erin: _Tiring, can't wait to go home, and relax. What about yours?_

Jay: _Boring, but it just got a whole lot better._

Erin: _Smooth._

She replies, and I let a little chuckle. An idea pops in my head, and I hope I don't regret it.

Jay: _Do you like Chinese?_

Erin: _That's so random, but yeah why?_

Jay: _Are you busy right now?_

Erin: _No, WHYY?_

Jay: _No reason._ I text back with a smile on my face, as I get out of my truck and walk into the restaurant. Ordering two of everything I usually get. Then I go get a case of beer, and go to the address she text me the other day.

XXXXXX

Erin's POV

I'm just getting out of the shower, thinking about how grateful I am that Cole's by his grandpa Hank for their usual Thursday night sleepover, when there's a light knock at the door. I wrap myself in my robe, and grab my phone seeing if Jay text me anything else, and I'm left even more confused when there's no further messages from him. I shake my head, before looking through the peep hole. I can't help the smile that takes over my face as I see him standing nervously on the other side. I tighten my robe slightly before opening the door.

"So you were afraid to text me too soon, but you spontaneously show up at my apartment two days before or second date, with take out and beer. Yeah…that's not desperate at all. Should I be calling the police?" I say to him, with a smirk. Raising my eyebrow at him, as his eyes travel up my still wet body, and he shallows hard.

"I couldn't lie to myself anymore, I wanted to see you again, sooner rather than later. Also that won't be necessary, I'm not a stalker or anything. Plus you'd essentially be calling me."

I hum, bringing my hand that's not on the door up to my face in attempt to conceal the blush that is surely spreading across my cheeks. I open the door further for him to walk in.

"I'm just going to go get dressed, I'll be right back." I say as he sets the bag, and beer on the counter.

When I come back out a few minutes later, he's still standing at the counter. I make my way into the kitchen, and grab some paper plates, and napkins. We walk to the couch, and sit down. There's this sort of awkwardness as I turn on the TV, and flip through the channels, before deciding on Friends; seemingly easing some of the tension. After we're done eating, and throwing out the food containers, we settle back on the couch, and fall into easy conversation. We just talk for a few hours, before I yawn, and he decides to leave.

"Goodnight." I say as he steps out of my apartment

"Goodnight Erin, sorry if." He starts, as he turns to face me, but I wave my hand up dismissing whatever he was about to apologize for.

"It was a nice surprise, I wanted to see you too." I say. Cause though I was surprised, I couldn't get him out of my head, and I'm glad he showed up tonight. I think as he smiles and walks away. I hope these next two days go by quick, but I know they'll drag by, as I practically count down the seconds until our next date.

 **XXXXXX**

 **A/N: I'd just like to say thanks to halsteadpd for helping me out, and giving me some ideas for this chapter. I hope you all like it, please leave me your thoughts. I promise it will get more interesting along the way. So please stay tuned. Have a great week, Thanks, and Much Love.**


	3. Chapter 3

Three weeks later

Erin's POV

"Oh Erin you shouldn't have." Trudy Platt says I walk through the front doors of District 21.

I chuckle lightly as I come up to the front desk.

"Figured I'd stop by, bring some lunch for Hank and the team."

"Oh I see how it is, I thought we were tight, or whatever it you kids say these days." She replies

"Top box sausage and mushroom." I say with a smile.

"Extra mushrooms." I add

"That's why you're my favorite." She says gently taking the top pizza box off the stack in my hands.

"I thought I was your favorite." I hear Kim say, I turn my head to see her walking down the stairs that lead to the bullpen of Intelligence.

"Sorry Burgess, not quite." Trudy says, bringing a slice up to her mouth.

"Can you buzz me up please?" I ask, anxiously wanting to see Jay. She nods, after taking another bite. I think about how we haven't seen each other, since that Saturday when we went to his friends restaurant three weeks ago. We've texted, talked on the phone, and even FaceTimed twice, in between our somewhat crazy work schedules. The unit caught a case the day after our last date, and then got another one a week after which is the one they're still working. And for me it's Cole's schedule too, and I still haven't told Jay about him yet. I've been wanting to tell him, just not over the phone. I think as I take the last step into the bullpen. The team is all sitting at their desks, everyone except Adam doing what I assume is paperwork. Adam looks over at me, while quickly throwing the paper ball he had ready in his hand at Jay, then he practically jumps out of his seat, and walks towards me.

"Hey Erin, are these all for me?"

"No sorry Adam, I got pineapple on all of them, I was told you weren't in today."

"Haha, seriously though I'm starving, and they're being boring."

"No we're just working." Jay says from his desk, as he sets his pen down, pushing his chair out and standing up. Hailey, Al, Tonio and Kevin following suit. Jay's smile seems to grow with every step in my direction, and I feel like a giddy school girl with her first crush as I get butterflies in stomach.

"Hey." Jay says after Adam takes the pizza boxes from me, and walks towards the break room.

"Hey." I say tucking my hair behind my ear.

"I was actually going to text when I was done with paperwork."

"So I'm guessing you guys closed the case?"

"Yeah." He says, his smile falling, and he looks down, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Thanks for lunch Erin." Kevin says as he walks out of the break room.

"Yes thank you." Hailey says

"Yeah thanks." Adam says with his mouth full, after Hailey nudges him.

"Thank you." Al says as he sits at his desk.

"No problem." I say as walk to the break room, where Jay now is, having walked to while everyone was thanking me.

"Hey, do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

"No I'm fine."

"Jay, I know we've only known each other a month, but I can tell you're not fine."

"Ok, but I don't want to talk about it." He says angrily

"Ok." I say backing away a little.

"Hey." He says grabbing my wrist gently to prevent me from stepping away anymore.

"I'm sorry, this case was really hard, and I just don't want to talk about it now."

"I'll listen when you're ready." Is all say, and he gives me a small smile.

"So how was your day?" He asks as he grabs a slice of pizza.

"Pretty boring."

"Well I hope that changes." He says with a smirk.

"Mm I guess we'll see." I say as we sit down at the small round table near the window. He practically inhales his slices off his plate, acting as if he hasn't eaten in days.

"Do you have a suit?" I ask after a few minutes.

"Yeah a few, why?"

"Umm I was wondering if maybe you'd want to go…" I say, but then I pause; nervous to ask him. I look down as I twiddle my thumbs in my lap. I lift my gaze back up to him, and he gives me a concerned look.

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

"Never mind it's stupid." She says, scrunching her nose ever so slightly, and in the most adorable way. Once again looking down at her hands. I lean over, and place one of my hands over both of hers.

"Whatever it is I'll go."

"You don't even know what it is."

"It doesn't matter." I say giving her another smile, before getting up to get another couple pieces of pizza.

"But where are we going?" I ask as I sit back down

"My high school reunion."

"Fun." I say in between bites, and she gently touches my hand which is sitting to the side of my plate.

"Hey kid, I didn't know you were coming by." I hear Hank say from the doorway of the break room, and I jump, and she retracts her hand from the table.

"Hank hey, I uh, it was kind of spur of the moment."

"huh." He replies.

' _Hank? He calls her kid, and she calls him Hank? I'm even more curious as to how they know each other.'_ I think in my head, as I get up to throw away my plate.

"Hey Halstead don't you have paperwork you should be finishing?"

"Yeah I was just about to go back to it." I say, giving Erin one last glance, and smile before going back to my desk.

XXXXXX

Erin's POV

"Why don't you come to my office." He suggests, and I don't say anything; just get up and follow him to the room next store.

"Want to tell me what that was?"

"What?" I ask

"Don't play dumb Erin, what's going on between you and my detective?"

"How is that any of your business?"

"You're all I have left Erin, you, Nadia and Cole, and I just want to protect you."

"I appreciate that Hank, but what makes you think I need to be protected from him?"

"I've seen what this job does to girlfriends and wives. The constant worry, or the husband missing games, and concerts. It takes its toll. It's not the life I want for you, or my grandson."

"Well I guess its good that its not your life."

"I'm also looking out for Halstead. I've seen what happens to the guys you date."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've left a string broken hearts behind you since you were fifteen. And I need Halstead a hundred percent effective, not throwing pebbles at your window at three in the morning."

"Pfft."

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to be dating him, or any cop for that matter."

"The overprotective father thing was fine when I was a teenager, but I don't need you looking out for me anymore."

"The fact that you don't see why I don't want you seeing him shows that you still do."

"You don't get to tell me who I can and can't hang out with on my personal time Hank." I say opening the door to his office, and walking out, despite Hank yelling my name. I slam the door behind me, and walk over to Jay's desk

"Hey so the reunion is Friday at seven, do you want me there or at your place?" I ask him, knowing I can't have him come my apartment until I tell him about Cole.

"Uh we can meet at my place."

"Ok text me your address?" I ask

"Yeah."

"Ok, I'll talk you to later." I say giving him a smile, as I hear Hank come out of his office, and yell my name again.

"See you guys later." I say as I walk towards the stairs, and they all say thanks, and bye in their own way.

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

I'm a little nervous, as I hear Erin and Voight yelling in the office, and then she storms out, and walks towards my desk. I pretend to be focused on my paperwork, as she comes to a stop in front of me. And I feel myself relax a little when I look up at her. She asks me where to meet for the reunion, and I answer, and then she says bye just as my angry boss comes out of his office, and yells her name. She just continues on her way, and I can't help but watch her for a few moments, before texting her my address, with the smile not leaving my face, but then Voight says

"Halstead." And my smile immediately falls.

"Sarge?" I say

"My office. Now." He says loudly, and I follow his command, and stand up from my chair, and walk to his office.

"Close the door." He says once I'm the room

"You like working in this unit, you'll put an end to whatever it is that's going on between you and Erin." He says

"Sarge I don't know what you're relationship with her is."

"You don't need to know. I don't want her getting hurt if something happens to you. Just end it, or you can hand me your badge and gun now." He says sternly

"Anything else Sir?"

"No, go home Halstead." He says, and I just nod my head.

I leave his office, and walk back to my desk. Shutting down my computer, and leaving the bullpen. On the drive home, I pick up some food, and go to my apartment. My boss' word's repeat in my head. I toss my keys onto the kitchen counter, as well as my food. I walk to my couch, and look down at my phone. She text me back at some point during the drive, but I don't read it. As I think about what I should do. I like her, a lot actually, but I've already had to cancel a couple of times, because of work, she deserves something better. Maybe Voight's right, I should end it now, before we get too close. I sit there with my head on the back of my couch, and just stare at the ceiling for a while. Then my phone rings, and I look down to see Erin's name flashing on the screen.

"Hey, did you get my text?" She says into the phone

"Uh yeah, I haven't read it yet though sorry."

"Oh, that's ok. I'm sorry, I know you had a rough day." She says quietly

"Yeah." I say thinking 'you have no idea.' As I think about what Voight said.

"What are you doing right now?" I say into the phone.

"Talking to you." She says, and let out a chuckle

"Other than talking to me?"

"Nothing why?" She answers, and I pause for longer than I realized as I get broken from thoughts by her voice

"Jay, you still there?"

"Yeah."

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, I just was thinking about how I don't want you to get hurt."

"What are you talking about?" She asks; her voice cloaked with concern.

"This isn't going to work out." I say trying to hide how sad those words make me. We've only known each other a month, but I've fallen for her, hard. I know with that realization that this is the right choice, no matter how much it hurts, like Voight, I don't want her getting hurt.

"What?" She says quietly, and the way her voice cracks almost has me changing my mind, but I talk myself out of it.

"I'm sorry Erin." I say as I hang up.

XXXXXX

Erin's POV

One month, that was it, one month was all it took for me to fall for him, and I feel like the wind just got knocked out of me with his words. I try to keep my tears at bay, but I cant stop myself from crying, as I process what just happened. Than I think about Hank's words, and it has me dialing his number. It rings a few times before I hear it being picked up.

"What the hell did you say to him?"

"Erin." He begins but I cut him off.

"If its not one fucking thing it's another. Now I'll agree that I haven't always had the best taste in guys, but I finally seem to get a good one, one that I thought you would approve of, and you fucking scare him away, after a month, a fucking month Hank, with some bullshit about me getting hurt."

"Erin, I just want what's best for you."

"How do you know he's not what's best for me? He's in your unit, a your unit you usually don't let just anyone in." I snap, and he doesn't say anything else.

"Stay the hell out of my, our life Hank." I say, before hanging up. I feel a little bad about those words, but he had no right. Still laying on my bed, I call Grace next.

"Hey Grace, I'm sorry to bug you, and I know this is last minute, but is there anyway you'd be able to watch Cole tonight? I can even give you a bonus, if that helps."

"No bonus necessary Erin, I'll be right over."

"Thank you so much Grace." I say

"No problem, see you in a few."

Once we hang up, I get up, and grab some work clothes for tomorrow. And about fifteen minutes later, I hear a knock at the door. I go to let Grace in. As she's hanging up her soaked jacket, and taking off her shoes. I go to Cole's room.

"Hey little man, so I'm going to go see my friend, but Grace is going to have a sleep over with you ok?" I say as I sit on his bed, right behind where he's playing with some legos.

"Ok. Love you." He says, not looking up for his colorful tower.

"Ok love you too bud." I say as I get up, and walk out. I take Grace by surprise and give her hug.

"Thank You again Grace, and if you need some dry clothes feel free to grab some from my room." I say as I pull away. And she just nods at me as I walk towards the door, and put my boots and jacket on.

The pouring rain outside has me running to my car. It only takes me ten minutes to get to his apartment, and I take the elevator to his floor. I take a few deep breaths before knocking on his door. Only a few moments later, the door is being opened and Jay is standing to the side of it. He still has on the same clothes that he had on earlier. I take a few steps towards him

"Erin I."

"Tell me that whatever Hank said to you today isn't what made you decide to put an end to this, and tell me you don't feel something between us Jay, and I'll leave."

"I can't." He says honestly and without hesitation, and it has me launching myself into his arms. My lips crashing onto his for the first time, and it feels so right. And I wish I had done it sooner, I think as I feel his lips start to move against mine. I kick the door shut, before he's gently pushing me against the wall, and pulls his lips away from mine.

"Are you sure you want to go against your dad?"

"Yes."

"What if he finds out?"

"I don't really care about that right now." I say as I tug his shirt over his head. I cup his face, and attach our lips again. I fumble with his belt, and he bites my lip, as I brush against his zipper. He pulls away again, but this time he just looks at me, almost as if he asking if I'm sure again. I nod my head, and he wastes no time cupping my ass; hoisting me into his arms; carrying me to his bedroom. I kiss his lips, his cheeks, his jaw, and down his neck, before being thrown onto his plush bed. Our clothes are quickly discarded, and thrown in all different directions. He looks down at me from where his naked form is hovering over mine.

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

"God you're beautiful." I say and she lifts her head up to kiss me as her agile fingers run down my torso, before they curl around me, and bring me closer, until I'm buried deep within her. I groan against her feverish skin as my head falls to the crook of her neck. I give her time to adjust, and then I'm moving in and out of her at torturously slow pace, becoming more erratic as we near the edge. I'm sure my neighbors will be complaining, as my usually quiet apartment fills with the sound of my headboard banging against the wall, and our moans echoing through my room.


	4. Chapter 4

That same night

Erin's POV

I wake up alone in his bed, the sheets are still warm, so I know he hasn't been gone long, I look to the side, noticing that its still dark outside. The time on the alarm clock says it two fourteen. I run my fingers through my hair before getting up and throwing on my tank top, and panties before making my way to the kitchen where I hear glass clanking together. I hum quietly as I take him in. He's just got on a pair of sweatpants, giving me a view of his muscular back, and then he turns to face me, and I find myself wondering how I'm still able to walk. His sweatpants are hanging low, showcasing the deep v at the bottom of his perfectly chiseled, god like abdomen. My legs feel Jell-O, as I walk closer to him, and he hands me a beer.

"I need to rehydrate." He says, bringing his bottle up to his lips.

"That mean you're done?" I say in a low voice, with my lips hovering just over my bottle

"No. No no no no, just in between rounds." He says coming closer to me.

"Hmm." Is my response before we lean in and kiss. I guess he's rehydrated as both of our bottles get put onto the counter safely by him, without either of us breaking our make out session. He walks me backwards towards the bedroom, pulling my tank top off on the way, and then I'm falling back onto the bed, in a not so different way than earlier in the evening. He doesn't even bother taking off his sweatpants all the way before he's pushing my panties a side, and joining our bodies, for the third round of the night.

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

We get woken up just a few short hours later by the alarm on her phone. We both groan, as she rolls over to turn off the alarm.

"Can't you just call in?."

"mm I wish." She says as she leans up to give me a kiss.

"Plus you have work too." She adds giving me another kiss before getting up.

"I'll call in too."

"Yeah, good luck with that with Hank. Can I use your shower?"

"Only if I can join you?" I say raising my eyebrow

"We do that, and I'll be late for sure." She answers, and I put on my best pout.

"Cute." She says leaning down now to give me a kiss.

"We better hurry." She adds, giving in, practically running to the bathroom, and I'm not far behind her.

XXXXXX

I get out before her; going back to my room, and putting on a pair of jeans. I then go to the kitchen to make us some coffee. She comes walking out dressed in her scrubs only a few minutes later; her wet hair thrown up into a neat bun on the top of her head. She comes to stand next to me and lean against the counter, and I hand her a mug.

XXXXXX

Erin's POV

"This is the sugar." He says pointing to a silver container next to the coffee machine "and I only have lactose free creamer, but I can get regular creamer, for next time if you don't like it. I mean if you want there to be a-" He rambles nervously, and I can't help but smile at how adorable he is when he's nervous, before trying to stop him

"Jay."

"Next time." He just continues, as I kiss his jaw, and my hands roam his still bare chest and torso.

"Jay." I say bringing my hands to his cheeks, and pulling his face down towards me, whispering against his lips "I'm sure the creamer is fine." Before kissing him.

"and I'd love for there to be a next time."

"Me too." He says

"Good, now I've got to go or I'm going to be late, but I'll text you later." I say as he leans down to give me another kiss.

"Ok, bye."

"Bye." I say grabbing my things and leaving.

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

Friday

I sit dressed in a black suit, and a black dress shirt, anxiously waiting for her to get to my apartment. We texted for a little bit yesterday, she asked about my day, before she told me about hers. She said she had to go not long after. Today I was woken up by my phone ringing, I picked it up not even looking at it, just wanting it to stop ringing. She was nervous, I could tell as she didn't even say hello. The first thing she said to me was

"What does your suit look like?"

"Uh, like a suit." I said, while rubbing my eyes.

"It has to look high end."

"Hey I have nice suits" I said with a chuckle

"Maybe we shouldn't go."

"We can do whatever you want, but I think we should at least go, if you're not about it when we get there, then we can go somewhere else, or come back here."

"Ok." She said with a sigh.

"I'll see later than." She added

"Ok." I said, and she hung up.

Now its quarter to seven, and she text that she's on her way up to my floor. I stand up from the bar stool I was sitting on, and make my way to the door, I open it just as she's walking up. My breath gets caught in my throat as she comes to a stop in front of me in a tight black knee length dress. My eyes travel up her body slowly, and I feel my pants getting tighter as my eyes get to her cleavage. Then my eyes lock on hers, and I reach out, placing my hands on her hips, and I pull her into me. I lean down to kiss her lips.

"Hi."

"Hi, you ready?" She says with a weak smile.

"Yeah." I say stepping out of my apartment, and locking the door. She insists that she drives, and before I can argue she's climbing into the drivers seat of her jeep. I get in, turning slightly to grab my seatbelt. Out of the corner of my eye, I see something seating on top on the back seat, I turn my head a little more to take in the booster seat, that is placed directly behind the passenger seat. I finally buckle my seat belt, as I think about what that means. ' _Maybe she babysits? But enough to need to keep a booster seat in her car? When I babysit Owen, I just borrow Will's seat if I need it. Maybe she has a kid? But why hide it?'_ I want to ask her, but I also want her to tell me. I hope she'll tell me.

"We're here." She says putting the car in park. She looks over at me nervously. I push my thoughts aside, and reach over to gently squeeze her hand, and she gives me another weak smile.

"Ready?" I ask her this time, and she nods her head. We get out of the car, and start to walk towards the hotel ballroom where the reunion is being held. I'm fixing the sleeve of my suit jacket as we turn the corner of the building. She stops then, and I look up to see what caused it.

"What am I doing here?" She asks, before she turns on her heels.

XXXXXX

We find ourselves sitting down at a bar a few blocks away. We sit down and order our drinks. Once we get our drinks, I ask

"So?"

"I'm sorry Jay."

"I wasn't looking for an apology Erin, you have no reason to apologize. I'm just curious about a few things." I say, and she nods, taking a drink from the short glass in her hand. She looks down at the table as she begins to talk

"I guess I should start at the beginning." She says, and I just nod, as she's bringing the glass back up to her lips. She takes a deep breath, and starts to swirl the amber color liquid in her glass.

"I had been Voight's CI for a while, so he knew me, knew some of what my mom put my little sister Nadia and I through. Turns out I wasn't too different from her, got in with a bad crowd, did some really bad things, while trying keep my sister safe, at least that was what I always told myself. And when I was fifteen, and Nadia was ten, Hank and his wife took us in. Saved me, saved us. He pulled some strings and got me into Saint Ignatius, when I got there I made up who I was. I was Hank's goddaughter staying with him while my parents were traveling." She stops there to take another drink.

"She you'd be good at undercover?"

"If you mean lying, yeah. I was a street kid. But Steph and her crew pulled me into their clique, and pretty soon we were doing everything together, shopping, parties, all of it. And then somebody found out who I really was. You figure out who your real friends are pretty quick when the word's out that your mom's a junkie and your dad's in jail. They'd taunt me, everyday, every class, but I took it on the chin, knowing I couldn't risk the Voight's kicking Nadia out. And Hank had to make a deal with the director of the school to get me in. If I got in a fight, even threw one punch, I was out. It still bothers me. I thought that maybe if I went tonight, everything would be put in perspective. I could show them that I did something with my life. I don't know why I just couldn't do it." I don't say anything, not really sure what to say, so I reach over, and take her hand in mine.

"You don't need to prove yourself to them or anyone Er, sounds like you were an incredibly strong kid, and you grew up to be a beautiful and even stronger woman. And one day you're going to make someone incredibly happy, by becoming their wife, and mother of their children, their everything." _'And I hope that someone is me'_ I think to myself.

XXXXXX

Erin's POV

"Maybe One Day." I say giving him a smile, and his eyes seem to twinkle in the dimly lit bar.

"Oh definitely." He says, standing up and grabbing my hand a little more firmly; pulling me up so I'm standing in front of him. We both lean in; kissing each other passionately, before he pulls away.

"We should get out of here." He says; still holding my hand, and leading us out of the bar.

"So where's your sister now?" He asks as we step onto the sidewalk.

"Umm-"

"You don't have to answer that, I was just wondering."

"No it's ok, she's uh, she's in rehab. She's actually why I came back, her and-" I say, I was about to tell him about Cole but get cut off by his phone ringing.

"Halstead." He says into the phone.

"Yeah I'll be right there." He says, before hanging up.

"You guys catch another case?" I ask, but he just shakes his head.

"No, but we got a new lead, Voight wants us working it now."

"Really? its nine."

"I know." He replies as he opens the car door for me, before running over to the passenger side, and getting in. When we pull up to his apartment building, he unbuckles his seat belt, and leans over the center console to give me a kiss.

"I'm sorry, our night was cut short."

"Its ok, we'll just have to make up for it another night." I say with a smirk.

"Oh definitely." He says pecking my lips again.

"Goodnight, I'll call you when I can."

"Ok goodnight." I say as he gets out of the car, I watch him until he disappears inside.

I feel a sense of relief as I start replaying what I said to him at the bar, and how he replied. But him still not knowing about Cole has that feeling of relief fade away quickly. I could tell that he saw the booster seat, and even out of the corner of my eye I saw the wheels turning in his head. I need to tell him the next time I see him, good timing or not.

XXXXXX

My thoughts make the fifteen minute drive seem even quicker. I walk up to my apartment, bringing my key up to the lock, and unlocking the door before opening it. I hear big brother playing in the living room, as I toss my keys on the table near the door.

"Hey Erin you're home early."

"Uh yeah my date got called into work."

"Oh that sucks." She says.

"Yeah, how was he?"

"Good, he ate, brushed his teeth, and then fell asleep about a half ago."

"Good, thanks Grace." I say and she nods, getting up and grabbing her jacket.

"Have a goodnight, see you on Monday." I say, as she nears the door.

"Thanks you too Erin."

After she leaves I go to lock the door before heading to my room to change, but then I decide to take a shower. I get out when the water starts to get cold. I pull on a pair of panties, sleep shorts, and a tank top, before going back to my room. I turn on the TV, and watch some old sitcom, eventually falling asleep.

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

After working the case through the night and into the early afternoon, I just wanted to go home, and sleep. And that's exactly what I did. I slept from two until eight. When I got up I went to take a shower to wake myself up a little more. Ruzek texted me while I was in the bathroom, letting me know that Atwater, Upton, and Burgess were meeting up with him at Molly's. I text Erin to see if she'd want to come with me, I get dressed in a pair jeans and a shirt while I wait for her response. After a about fifteen minutes I decide to call her.

"Hey." I say when I hear her pick up.

"Hey." She says her voice sounding a little more raspy than usual, and before I can ask, she says

"I'd love to go with but I haven't been feeling well today."

"Oh ok, maybe next weekend."

"Maybe."

"But tonight maybe I could come and make you feel better."

"As tempting as that is. I don't think I'm up to it."

"Ok, well get some rest we have a date we have to make up for." I say with a smirk, as she chuckles lightly, causing her to cough a little

"Have fun tonight."

"Thanks, goodnight." I say

"Night." She says, before hanging up the phone.

I grab my keys before leaving for Molly's. When I get there the four of them are sitting at our usual table. I get a beer first, then go to the table. The longer I sit there the more I start to feel like the odd man out, and the more I want to go to Erin's. Before giving it any further thought I go to the bar, and hand Herrmann a twenty, then I go back to the table

"I'm going to call it a night guys."

"Yeah right." Adam slurs, he's obviously drunk, so I don't even acknowledge him. Kim slaps his arm, and it causes him to whine. The rest of them say goodnight, before I leave.

The drive from Molly's to her apartment is quick, and soon enough I'm standing in front of her door. I knock lightly, hoping I don't wake her if she's sleeping. But then I hear the lock click, and the door opens, but instead of Erin standing on the other side, it's a little boy, maybe five years old. I don't get any closer, but I bend down so I'm a little closer to eye level for him.

"Hey buddy, should you be opening the door?" I ask, and he just shakes his head, his big brown eyes filling with tears, before he runs away from the door, and further into the apartment, just as Erin comes running to the door. She does look sick, her hair tossed up into a messy pony tail, her nose is red, and her skin looks pale, but when she sees me, its as if she's seen a ghost, as the remaining pink tint that was on her cheeks fades away.

"Jay what are you doing here? I thought you were going to Molly's?"

"I did go but I wanted come be with you. Now I know the real reason you didn't want me to come over." I say as I turn back towards the door.

"Jay wait." She says, and I stand there briefly before turning the knob, and opening the door, then I close it again, and lock it. I turn around to face her, but don't say anything.

XXXXXX

Erin's POV

He closes the door lightly, I walk towards him slowly, but he shakes his head at me. I decide to let him cool off, hoping he'll let me explain. I ask him to put the chain on so Cole can't open it anymore. I go to his room, and reprimand him for opening the door again, before reading him a story, and tucking him in. Even in doing that, I can't get Jay out of my mind. I go to the kitchen, to get myself a glass of water, before going to sit in the living room where Jay is pacing back and forth.

XXXXXX

 **A/N: I hope you all like it, please review if you do. I'll try to update as soon as I can. If you're not enjoying this, please keep your comments to yourself. Thanks.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm so nervous about this chapter, but I hope you like it. PLEASE REVIEW, let me know your thoughts.**

 **XXXXXX**

 _He closes the door lightly, I walk towards him slowly, but he shakes his head at me. I decide to let him cool off, hoping he'll let me explain. I ask him to put the chain on so Cole can't open it anymore. I go to his room, and reprimand him for opening the door again, before reading him a story, and tucking him in. Even in doing that, I can't get Jay out of my mind. I go to the kitchen, to get myself a glass of water, before going to sit in the living room where Jay is pacing back and forth_.

XXXXXX

Erin's POV

"I know you weren't expecting this, but it's not what you think."

"Really cause I think that you have what a four, five year old son? and you didn't tell me about him. What were you waiting for? Were you going to tell me, or are we just having fun, and you were just going to break it off before I found out? I get it's only been a month, but I feel myself falling for you, and this, this is big." He rambles, bringing his hand up to slide slowly down his face, as he continues to pace, I feel my heart swell at his last words.

"He's my nephew." I say with little cough.

"Your nephew?" He says, turning to face me, and I can see the exact moment realization hits.

"Nadia's son?" He says, and I nod.

"I was going to tell you, I just didn't want to scare you away on the first date. What would you have thought if I told you I had custody of my nephew, while my sister battles drug addiction in rehab?" I say, and he lets out a deep breath.

"I don't know what I would have thought, but I know it wouldn't have scared me away, not from you."

"I was going to tell you yesterday, it was on the tip of my tongue, but then-"

"Then I got called in."

"Yeah, and before that I just kept making up excuses, and it got harder every time we talked or hung out, because I'm falling for you too, and I didn't want this to end before it's even begun." I say, and he gives me a small smile.

"So his name is Cole?" He says; finally looking at me, after another several minutes.

"Yes, his name is Cole."

"How long have you had him?"

"He's been living with me for about seven months." I say, coughing again, this time a little harder and he just nods, with concerned look on his face. I walk over to the closet, and grab a new box of tissue. I open the box, and throw the cardboard tap in the trash in the kitchen. I blow my nose, and start to cough again.

"Do you have any whiskey?" he asks

"Yeah, why?" I say, confused.

"What about honey, and lemons?"

"I don't know maybe, why?" I ask before, he joins me in the kitchen.

"Why don't you go lay down, and I'll make you something to drink."

"Oook." I say as I turn to walk out of the kitchen and towards the couch. I lay down, and turn on the TV, before wrap myself in the blanket I had draped over the back of the couch. After about ten minutes, he comes walking into the living room, handing me a warm mug.

"What's this?"

"A hot toddy." He says, sitting down next to me.

"What's a hot toddy?"

"When Will and I were little my grandma and mom would make us a hot toddy if we were sick, except without whiskey, just tea, lemon and honey, sometimes a cinnamon stick too, and then when we got older my mom would makes us ones with whiskey. It usually made us feel at least a little better."

"Thanks." I say after taking a sip. I slowly finish the drink, then placing the mug one the coffee table. He picks it up and takes it to the kitchen.

"Just leave the mug Jay, I'll do it tomorrow." I somewhat yell towards the kitchen. He doesn't reply, instead the sink stays on, and I don't have it in me to go stop him. He rejoins me a few moments later.

"Thank You, you didn't have to do that." Taking about making the drink and cleaning the mug

"With the honey it would have been a pain in the ass to clean later." He whispers against my forehead, before placing a kiss there. He sits in the same spot he was just in, and I scoot over, and pat the spot next to me to get him to lay down too. He does, and we adjust so he's not hanging half off the couch. Instead I'm half on him and half on the couch.

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

I wrap my arm around her, once she's settled onto my side. I start to rub my hand up and down her back. Her hand slowly slides under my shirt, and sits on my stomach, her thumb moving back and forth just over my belly button.

"So Nadia, and Cole, they're why you came back to Chicago?" I say when I realize that she's not falling asleep. She nods her head into my chest.

"Yeah."

"Where's his dad?"

"He died in a car accident at the beginning of last year, he wasn't around for them much, but it caused my sister to spiral. I was here for a few weeks after the funeral, but I had to go back to work, so selfishly, I went back to New York. Hank called me two months later, told me that she was admitting herself, for Cole." She says, and I can feel her tears soak through my shirt.

"She admitted she needed help, that's a great first step." I say, pulling her even closer to me if that's even possible, as I think about what to say when she doesn't reply to that, I decide to change the focus back to Cole.

"Tell me about Cole."

"What?" She asks tilting her head to look up at me.

"Tell me about Cole, what does he like?" I say wiping her tears away, and she flashes me a weak smile. She's quiet for a few minutes, and at first I thought that maybe she fell asleep, but then she starts talking again

"He loves soccer, he's so excited to be starting pee wee soccer next month. His loves everything blue. Wreck it Ralph is his go to movie, and he'll usually talk your ear off. He's trusting, which is scary. He's actually a lot like Nadia was at his age, smart, sweet, and well behaved."

"Sounds like a good kid, now we just have to stop him from opening the door." I say placing another kiss to her forehead. She laughs lightly, which was the response I was looking for but I regret it when she once again starts coughing.

"Yeah, he is a good kid though, he's taken this whole situation like a champ, and he's making it easier for Nadia to get better."

"I'm sure, he gives her a reason to over come this." I say, and she just nods, and there's a few moments of silence.

"You're not still mad are you?"

"I wouldn't be here right now if I was."

"But you were mad?"

"Honestly no, I wasn't mad Erin, just a little-"

"Surprised." She says, trying to stifle a yawn.

"Yeah….Why don't we get you to bed."

"Only if you stay with me."

"I don't know Er."

"Please?" She says, tilting her head up towards me again, and sticking out her bottom lip. I don't answer her, instead I sit up, and she moves to wrap her and legs around me. I stand up with her in my arms, and I carry her to her room. I lay her down, and she reluctantly releases her hold on me. She looks up at me with tired eyes, and gives me another pout.

"Stop that." I say, trying but failing to keep myself from smiling.

"Jay please?" She says, batting her eyelashes a little.

"You make a good pillow." She says quietly, averting her twinkling hazel eyes away from me briefly, before looking back up.

"It looks like you have plenty of pillows, you don't need me." I say looking at the five pillows surrounding her.

"Maybe, but I want you." She says, and I gulp at her words.

"I'm going to go get you some water." I say, and she lets out a sad sigh as I walk out of the room. I don't plan on leaving now, but I wanted to mess with her a little.

She's fighting sleep when I walk back into the room, and when she sees me she sits up a bit. I place the glass on the nightstand, and walk back towards the door.

"Goodnight Jay." She says sadly, as I grab the door.

"I didn't think you'd be one to give up that easily."

"I'm not, but I don't want to be that needy girlfriend." She says honestly, and I'm speechless at her use of the word girlfriend, if I wasn't going to stay before, I would definitely be staying now.

"Well I need to stay with you tonight, so I guess I'm going to be that needy boyfriend." I say closing the door, turning towards her, and peeling off my shirt. The smile she gives me reaches her eyes, and her dimples pop, for what I believe is the first time tonight. I place my shirt on the chair next to the window, and then I take off my jeans, and put them on the chair. She adjusts the covers so I can slide under them. Once I lay down we both pull the blankets up.

"Thank You." She says once she cuddles into myside

"What are you thanking me for?"

"For not freaking out and leaving before, and for staying now." She replies. I don't know how to reply to that, so I just kiss her forehead, and I notice how warm she is. After several minutes of silence, her hand stops on my chest, and I notice that she's finally fallen asleep. I look down at her as she adjusts her self, her arm get tucked into my side instead under her head, and her feverish skin lays directly on my chest. I slide down a little, and lean my back against the pillows, letting sleep consume me as well.

XXXXXX

The sound of the door opening, wakes me up the next morning.

"Auntie Erin." Cole says quietly, rubbing his eyes, as I wait to see if Erin responds. But as I expected she doesn't, having been coughing on and off throughout the night. I kiss the back of her neck as I unwrap my arm from around her waist. I'm glad I decided to put my shirt back on in the middle of the night when she got up to get another glass of water. I carefully get out of the bed, and cautiously walk over to Cole.

"Hey Cole, what's up?" I whisper to him.

"I'm hungry." He says shyly

"Alright bud well how about we let Auntie Erin sleep, and see what we can make you for breakfast. What do you say?" I say, and he looks over at his sleeping aunt, and then looks back at me and nods.

"Ok lets go to the kitchen then." I say, and he turns to lead the way to the kitchen.

"I have to go potty." He says, once were in the kitchen, and I'm looking through the cabinets.

"Ok." I say looking down at him, as he leaves the kitchen. I find some pancake mix while he's in the bathroom.

"Do you like pancakes little man?" I ask when he walks back into the kitchen.

"Yes." He replies

"Did you wash your hands after you went potty?" I ask and he nods his head.

"That's good. Do you want to help me mix the pancakes?" I ask and his eyes light up as he looks at me.

"Yes." He says and I smile at him. I grab the eggs, and milk out of the fridge. Before setting out to look for the pans, and a bowl to mix in. Once I have everything we need, and pick Cole up, and set him down on the counter.

"What's your name?" He asks me as I crack the eggs into the bowl.

"My name's Jay."

"Jay?" He says back to me, and I just nod.

"Ok buddy you mix the pancakes, and I'll start the eggs."

"Ok." He says as I hand him the spoon. I start the coffee machine, and begin making scrambled eggs.

XXXXXX

Erin's POV

I get woken up by a loud bang. I toss the covers off of me, and practically run to the kitchen.

"Sorry Auntie Erin." Cole says from the kitchen counter, as I round the corner of breakfast bar, and into the kitchen. He looks like he's about to burst into tears.

"Hey its ok." I say, scoping him up, off the counter.

"Ok Cole, foods done buddy." He says, placing a pancake, and some eggs on a plate. He walks and sets the plate on the little table just outside the kitchen. I put Cole down, and walks over to the table, and I admire Jay as he cuts the pancake into pieces, and puts a little cup of milk next to the plate. He walks back into the kitchen to grab the syrup from the fridge, and walks back over top the table to pour some on Cole's pancake.

"Thank You." Cole says sweetly

"You're welcome little man." Jay says as he walks back to the kitchen.

"Yes thank you Jay."

"It's no problem Er, he was hungry, and I figured I'd let you sleep, but I messed that up by dropping the pan."

"It's fine Jay, I appreciate you doing this for him." I say kissing his cheek, before walking towards the coffee machine, but he grabs my arm, and turned me back around, and giving me a brief kiss on the lips.

"I'll get you coffee, do you want any food?"

"I can get it Jay, I'll probably eat a little bit, but I'm not that hungry." I say and he nods as grabs a plate, and puts a little food on it. Handing it to me, after I get my coffee. I walk to the table and sit across from Cole who is still eating his food. Jay leaves the kitchen to go to my room, having put his jeans on when he reemerges.

"I have to go into work, finish up some paperwork, but I'll talk to you later."

"Oh ok, thanks again." I say as he leans down to give me another kiss.

"Bye bud, take care of your aunt for me ok?" He says messing with Cole's hair, causing Cole to laugh.

"Ok." He says, and with that Jay leaves.

XXXXXX

Thursday

Erin's POV

"I'm almost to your door."

"Ok I'm coming right now." I say into the phone, and walk to the door. I hang up as I unlock and open it.

"Hi." I say, as he steps forward, and gives me a quick peck.

"Hi." He says as he walks us into the apartment.

"What time is Cole getting picked up?"

"Hank just text me and said he's almost here."

"So I may need to sneak down the fire escape, and come back when the coast is clear."

"I think you'll be fine if you just wait in my room."

"sounds good to me." He says with a devious smile, as he walks to my room. Then there's a knock on the door, and a very excited Cole, comes running out of his room.

"Grandpa!" He says as I open the door.

"He ate dinner already, I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Thanks Erin." Hank says, and I just nod, not really wanting to talk to him anymore than I need to. He takes hold of Cole's hand, and I give him his backpack, and they leave. I close the door, and lock it. Before walking to my room. When I open the door Jay is just sitting on the bed, doing something on phone. I climb on the bed, and wrap my arms around him, and start press kisses to his neck, and behind his ears, and he lets out a growl when I move one of my hands down to cup him softly. He has since thrown his phone off to the side, and turns and pushes down onto the bed, pinning my hands above head, as his lips trail down my jaw, neck, and chest. We make quick work of each other's clothes, and soon enough our bodies are rocking against each other.

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

"Hey how you feeling?" I ask with a smirk as I think about last night at her place after Cole was picked up.

"Great, you?"

"Good."

"So what's up?"

"Umm I was calling to see what you and Cole are doing tomorrow?"

"Nothing just hanging out at home like we do most weekends."

"Ok would you be up to coming with me somewhere?"

"Where?"

"It's a surprise."

"I hate surprises."

"Well I'll be sure to remember that for the future, but I'm still not telling you."

"Ok, what time should we be ready?"

"Five, and be sure to bring sweaters for both of you."

"I'll see you at five then." She says.

"Great. Look I have to get back to work, but I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ok bye."

"Bye babe." I say, before hanging up.

"Jay we got a lead lets go." Hailey yells into the locker room, and I follow her to the rig.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry if this is another disappointing chapter, I tried. I've deleted and re written so many parts of this chapter, so I hope you guys at least enjoy some of it. If not, well it is what it is. Hope everyone is having a good week, and have a great weekend. Much Love.**

 **XXXXXX**

Saturday

Jay walks up to Erin's apartment and knocks on her door. He wipes his sweaty hands on the front of his jeans. He adjusts the chain that's holding his badge, that stills hanging around his neck. He's late, like two and half hours late. He text her letting her know that they had caught a new lead, which led to them solving the case. She just replied with ok, so it was safe to assume she is upset or disappointed.

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

I knock again, and continue to wait anxiously. Then I hear the lock click, and the door slowly opens. It's Cole again,

"Jay!" He says

"Hey little man."

"You're a police officer?" He asks pointing at my badge, as I see Erin come to stand just a few feet behind him, her arms crossed over chest, and a slight frown on her face.

"Yes."

"Like my Grandpa?"

"Yeah, like your grandpa."

"Do you catch a lot of bad guys?"

"Yeah, my team and I catch a lot of bad guys."

"Cool." He says with a smile.

"It is cool, but you know what Cole? There's still a lot of bad guys in the world, and your aunt, and your Grandpa-"

"and mommy?"

"And your mommy want to keep you safe bud, and you know that it's not safe to open the door right?" I ask and he nods

"So you can't keep opening the door, ok?"

"Ok." He says timidly

"Ok, can you go grab a sweatshirt from your room?" I ask and he nods again before running off.

"We can't go anywhere now, we were suppose to be leaving at five, and it's almost eight now, and his bedtime is in an hour" She says angrily

"I got my sweatshirt." Cole says as he walks back into the hall

"Hey, can you go color me a picture in your room please?" Erin asks and he looks at me, then her and nods, then walks back towards his room.

"I'm sorry Er, I just thought maybe we could at least go get some ice cream quick."

"Don't apologize Jay, I get that you had a case, but this isn't the first time a date's been postponed or cut short in the last month and a half, and I know it won't be the last." She says looking down, and letting out a deep breath.

"What are you saying Erin?"

"Maybe-" She starts and I feel my heart rate start to race, and my hands begin to sweat again, dreading the words I'm sure are about to come.

"Maybe we should slow down, and not include Cole from now on, I don't know how much longer I'm going to have him, but I don't want him to get attached to you, and continuously be let down, and disappointed." I'd be lying if I said that those last words didn't sting.

"Right." I say, as I take a few steps back.

"Uh goodnight."

"Jay wait." She says stepping forward a little.

"I understand Erin, we'll cool it." I say turning the door knob, and opening the door, before looking back at her; not missing the tears in her eyes, I give her a nod before walking out; letting the door slam a little behind me.

XXXXXX

Erin's POV

I slowly walk to the door, and lock it. I lean my head against it, closing my eyes, hoping the tears begging to fall, will go away.

"Auntie Erin?" I hear Cole say from behind me after a few minutes. I sniffle, and blink away the tears as I turn around to face him.

"Hey, did finish coloring?"

"Where's Jay?" He asks

"He had to go home buddy."

"I colored a picture for him."

"You did?" I ask, and he nods, holding up one of the pictures in his hands.

"I think he'll love it." I say feeling the tears forming in my eyes again. ' _Damn it Erin, get a hold of yourself, you've known the guy for less than six weeks.'_ I say to myself in my head.

"Who's is that?" I ask, looking at the picture in his other hand.

"Yours."

"Mine? You colored two pictures already?" I ask with a little more excitement in my voice.

"Yup." He answers, handing me my picture, with a cute little smile on his face.

"Thank You buddy, I'm going to hang my picture up on the fridge." I say picking him up and walking to the kitchen. I set him down on the counter next to fridge, as I place a magnet on the corner of the picture.

"Alright well how about we get ready for bed."

"Aww." He says sadly, as I set him on the floor.

"And then we can watch a couple episodes of PAW Patrol before bed."

"Yay!" He yells, once again running to his room. I look at the picture of Chase the Shepherd from PAW Patrol on the counter, before walking to my room to put on my pajamas.

I walk out to the living room, and find Cole already sitting on the couch. I sit down next to him, and grab the remote, turning on the TV. I turn on the show, and he lays down, with his head in my lap. By the time the episode is over, he's fallen asleep. I carry him to his room, and lay him down in his bed. I place a gentle kiss to his forehead, before leaving his room. I go back to the living room and turn everything off before going to my room. Once I'm comfortable, I grab my phone, and go back and forth with myself on whether I should text Jay, but I decide against it. I said we should slow down, which he didn't argue, and he said that we'll cool it. So that's what we should do, right? My thoughts continue to race for what seems like hours, before I manage to turn my thoughts off for long enough to fall asleep. Even in my sleep I think of him. My dreams flood with the images of him, the sound of his voice, the feeling of his hands and lips on me, its seems so real. It has me waking up, hot and bothered in the early morning, and leaves a dull ache in my chest, just as the sun is coming up. I get out of the bed, and make my way to bathroom. Needing to take a shower after that, and wanting to be ready before Cole gets up.

XXXXXX

Later that day

"Mommy!" Cole says excitedly as he runs towards Nadia.

"Hey little monkey." She says lifting him up into her arms.

"I've missed you so much." She says in between the kisses she's peppering all over her son's face, causing him to giggle and squirm.

"I missed you mommy." He says after she stops kissing him.

"Hey sis."

"Hi Nads." I say to her

"Mommy can we play with the blocks again?" Cole asks

"Of course." She says, turning towards the large family area, located in the center of the facility. As soon as we get close to the spot with the blocks, Cole squirms out of his mother's arms. She puts him down and he runs to the bin he's become familiar with during the multiple visits here over the last three months. Nadia and Cole sit on the floor, and start building things with the different colored blocks. I just sit down at the table a few feet away. I switch between looking down at my hands, and watching my sister and nephew talk and play. I'm far enough away that I can't hear what they're talking about, but I find myself wondering what they're conversing when Nadia gives me a somewhat concerned look. Nadia leans over to give Cole a kiss on the cheek before she stands up and walks to table, then sitting across from me.

"What were you guys talking about?"

"Nothing really, he was telling me about school, dad, the Paw Patrol episode you guys started watching last night." She says with a little giggle and I just nod

"Jay." She adds, and my head shoots up to look at her. She of course has a huge smile on her face, and I look back down at my hands.

"What's dad think about you dating a cop?"

"What do you think he thinks?"

"I'm sure he advised against it."

"Yeah, even threatened his job."

"Wow he threatened his job?... Wait he doesn't have control… unless… oooh you're dating one of dad's detectives?"

"Yeah, well I was." I say looking away from her and over at Cole, still playing with the blocks.

"What do you mean? Cole said he was at your apartment last night." She says.

XXXXXX

Nadia's POV

I look at my sister expectantly. She avoids looking at me, but I can tell she's hurt.

"Erin."

"It's nothing Nadia."

"That's bullshit, talk to me, and start from the beginning."

"He asked me on Friday if we had any plans for Saturday, and I said no, so he asked if we'd like to go with him somewhere, I agreed even though it was a surprise, and he said he'd pick us up at five." She says, fiddling her fingers.

"I meant the very beginning, but Ok?" I say, trying to get her to continue.

"He text me at five thirty yesterday, and said they caught their perp, and he was just finishing up paperwork. He didn't get to my apartment until seven thirty."

"So how did this lead to you guys breaking up?"

"This isn't the first time something like this has happened, and like I said to him it won't be the last."

"So you broke it off because?"

"I didn't break it off, I just said we should slow down, we were moving fast, too fast. It hasn't even been two months, and he's told me that he's falling for me."

"And what'd you say to that?"

"I told him that I was falling for him too, but-" She says, before sighing loudly

"But what Erin? You really want to slow down, possibly end things with this guy, who you've admitted you're falling for, because he's been late to a couple of dates? Or is it really because you're too afraid to let someone in, to allow yourself to fall in love, and be happy?" I say loudly, but she just continues to look down at her hands.

"I don't know, he didn't seem to object, he just backed away from me, and we'll cool it."

"I know you, I know you better than anyone else, and I know that you push people away before they can get too close to you. So you were disappointed about the date, you felt sad, and in typical Erin fashion, you reinforced your walls, at the slightest sign of someone breaking through them." I reply

"Mommy, Auntie Erin look!" Cole yells from where he's standing next to a tall tower of blocks.

"Wow baby that's so cool." I say

"Good job little man." Erin says at the same time, we continue to watch Cole as he carefully takes the tower apart.

"That's not true." She says after a few minutes.

"It is true, but not everyone is going to break your heart Erin. And I know you'll do what you want but I think you should give it, give him a chance. He probably just said to cool it because he was hurt." I say, and she nods. I can tell she's thinking.

XXXXXX

Erin's POV

I let my sister's words sink in for a few minutes, before she says

"So now that we've decided you're not breaking up with him, tell me about him, how'd you guys meet?"

I tell her how I work with Will and Natalie, and that they set us up, and how he was an army ranger, and just started in Intelligence the first time we were supposed to meet. Then I went over everything from the past month and a half.

I look over at Cole for a second, before looking back at Nadia.

"What's he look like? Is he hot?" She asks

"Why does that matter?"

"It doesn't, I just want to know." She says almost excitedly.

"Hot doesn't even begin to describe him Nads, his eyes are this beautiful blue green color, his smile makes me weak, and his body, god his body is like he was chiseled from stone." I say as I feel the blush creep up from my neck to my face.

"So what's he like in bed?"

"Nadia!" I almost yell, blushing even more now

"What? I'm a big girl, I can handle it."

"We're not talking about this."

"If you can't talk to your sister about your sex life, then who do you talk to about it?"

"No one."

"C'mon Erin, on a scale of one to ten, one being that you had to fake it, and ten being the best you've ever had." She says with a smirk. I shake my head and bite my lip, thinking about Thursday night.

"Eleven." I say as I get up to walk over to Cole, but I see her eyes widen and her jaw drop at my response.

"Auntie Erin I'm hungry." Cole says looking up from the toys.

"Ok bud, well how about you play with mommy, and I'll go get you a snack." I suggest and he looks over at Nadia who has taken her previous position on the colorful rug across from him, and gives him a smile.

"Ok." He says.

"I'll be right back." I say as they start to play with blocks again. I pull out my phone as I walk to the vending machine near the front of the building. I bring my messages up, and let my thumb hover over his thread, before clicking on it.

 _E-I'm sorry about last night._ I text him, not really expecting him to reply now, if at all, but I immediately see the three bubbles signaling he's typing back.

J- _Don't be I understand, we can slow down if that's what you want_. And with that I decide to call him.

It rings once before I hear him say "Hey."

"This isn't really the type of conversation I want to have over text, or on the phone."

"But it is one that needs to happen."

"Yeah just not over the phone."

"Alright well, when and where do you suggest we talk?"

"I don't know just not-" I say before he cuts me off

"Over the phone, I got that part Er."

"I brought Cole to visit my sister, but we can talk after we leave here."

"What about Cole?"

"What about him?"

"You said you didn't want him getting attached and disappointed."

"I meant that, but I think we should still talk." I say but there's a few moments of silence

"Jay?"

"Yeah, I'll.. What time does he go to sleep?"

"Nine, but I don't want to-"

"It's obvious you don't really know what you want Erin, so I'll be there tonight after he goes to sleep." He says sadly, and perhaps that hurts more than if he were mad. My mouth opens and closes, but I can't get the words out.

"I'll see you later Erin." He says before hanging up.

I pull the phone away from my ear, and look down at it, before putting it in my pocket, and grabbing money out to get snacks. Once I have the snacks, I make my way back to the family area. I walk up to the table, and put the snacks on it. Cole comes racing over, sitting down, and digging into the bag in front of him. I walk over to where Nadia is cleaning up the toys, and I start to help her.

"What took you so long to get back?"

"I uh, I talked to him."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, he's coming over tonight, even though I suggested he come over after we leave here."

"So why's he waiting till tonight?"

"he's waiting because last night I told him that I don't want Cole to get attached to him, and constantly end up disappointed. So he's waiting until he goes to sleep."

"You're not Bunny, bringing in random scumbag after random scumbag. I trust you Erin, and I trust that you wouldn't put my son at risk of getting hurt, be it physically or emotionally. I appreciate that you're trying to protect Cole, and I know you won't let him get hurt. So just let Jay in, let him hang out with you guys after work, and let him plan dates where Cole is included, unless you don't him to be. Point is, don't use Cole as an excuse to create distance."

"When did you become so wise?"

"I've always been wise beyond my years." She says, but she seemingly regrets her words quickly.

"Yeah." I say with a soft smile, as we put the last of the toys away. We go to sit at the table. Cole and I stay a little while longer before heading back to the apartment. He falls asleep in the car, and I carry him up to the apartment. I manage to unlock the door, and make my way into the apartment without waking my sleeping nephew. I go to his room, and lay him down on his bed, deciding to let him nap for a little longer, while I make some dinner.

Once the water starts to boil I pour the noodles in, and walk back to his room to wake him, to find him already awake and playing with his hot wheels.

"Hey little man did you have a good nap?" I ask and he just nods

"I'm making some spaghetti for dinner, how does that sound?"

"Yummy." He says seemingly unenthused, as he rubs his eyes, and I giggle a little.

"Ok I'll call you when it's all done."

"Ok." He replies, not looking up from his cars. I walk back out to the kitchen, start the sauce, and preheat the oven for the garlic bread. I get done making dinner at a little after six, and call for Cole to wash up. He does as he's told, and comes running out just a few moments later, sitting down at the table where I have his plate ready for him. I turn on the TV, and let him watch Paw Patrol as we eat. When we're done, I clean up in the kitchen, and do the dishes as he moves to the couch. I let him enjoy a little extra TV, while I do stuff around the apartment. Once I'm satisfied with what I accomplished I go out to the living room but he's not there so I look in his room, and find him sitting on the ground playing with his legos. I leave him be, and go back out to the living room. I flip to a channel with Friends on, and before I know it I've watched two episodes. I stand up, and go check on Cole.

"Hey bud, bath time."

His bath goes quicker than usual, as he wanted to get out as soon as he was all clean. When he gets out, I wrap him up in his towel, and he dries himself off. I hand him his underwear, then help him step into his pajama bottoms, and get his arms and head into his top. He brushes his teeth, and then we make our way back to his room. I pick a book at random, reading its title and he just nods. And I know he must be really tired, if he is just agreeing that easily. Only a couple pages in and he's out. I tuck him in and kiss his forehead, before turning off the light, and walking out.

I go to take a shower, and put on a oversized t shirt and a pair of panties when I get out. I look at the clock next to my bed, and see its only a little after nine. I head out to the living room, and sit down on the couch. I chew on my lip, as I watch another episode of Friends, anxiously waiting for a knock at the door. I'm only waiting for another couple minutes, before I hear three light taps. I get up and walk over to the door not even bothering to look through the peep hole.

"Hi." I say, and I bite my bottom lip in attempt to stop the smile attempting to make its way onto my face.

"Hi." He says giving me a weak smile. I open the door a little more, silently inviting him in.

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

"He asleep?" I ask as I walk cautiously past her.

"Yeah." She answers, and I nod.

"You were right, we should slow down. My job has crazy, sometimes unpredictable hours. And I know that you didn't sign up for that, but I did. And we can't do this every time, I'm late, or can't make it to something."

"I'm sorry, I understand that you have a job to do, and it's a very important job. I just got excited about going out with you again, so when a hour passed and then two and a half, I was disappointed, and I took it out on you. But I don't want to-" She rambles and I find myself wondering if this is what I'm like when I'm rambling nervously.

"Erin-"

"I was disappointed, but I realize now that I was using that as an excuse to push you away, and keep you at a safe distance, so we don't get too close. But I don't need to slow down, or cool it. I don't want to push you away, or to have space. I just want you." She says, and I don't say anything.

"I'm sorry." She adds, as a tear makes it way down her cheek and I nod as I take a few steps towards her.

"I'm sorry too." I say as I take the last step so I'm standing directly in front of her. I cup her jaw, and wipe her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs

"Can you promise me something?"

"Depends." She answers giving me a little smirk, and I chuckle lightly at that.

"Promise me that you'll just talk to me when you're upset, instead of pushing me away, I know this is still new, but I want this, us to last"

"Promise." She says, her smile widening a little more, and I give her one in return as I lean down to attach our lips.

She takes my hand, and starts walking us back towards her room.

XXXXXX

I kiss the crown of her head, letting my lips linger briefly. I look down at her sleeping on top of me. Her bare chest pressed pleasurably against mine. Her hair fanned out, and cascading down my side. Her breath tickling my peck. My hand rests on the small of her back, and its in this moment that I truly realize how deep I'm in with her.

XXXXXX


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This chapter is definitely a filler, but I hope you like it. Please review, reading your nice thoughts is always a good pick me up.**

 **XXXXXX**

 _I kiss the crown of her head, letting my lips linger briefly. I look down at her sleeping on top of me. Her bare chest pressed pleasurably against mine. Her hair fanned out, and cascading down my side. Her breath tickling my peck. My hand rests on the small of her back, and its in this moment that I truly realize how deep I'm in with her._

XXXXXX

Erin's POV

It seems not long after I fall asleep, that I get woken up by the feather light touches of his fingers running up and down my spine. His other hand simultaneously traces the scar just above my hip.

"How are you not sleeping?" I say but he doesn't answer, or even acknowledge that I've said anything.

"Jay?" I say

"Hmm?" He hums

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, great, why?"

"I just asked you a question and you didn't even budge."

"Sorry I'm just tired, what'd you ask?"

"I asked how are you not sleeping?"

"I was just thinking." He says, and I think that maybe he'll continue but he doesn't.

"About?" I ask, and place a kiss at the base of his throat, just below his scar there. I start to move a little to get off of him, but his hands quickly move to my hips to stop me.

"How I don't want to leave to go to work in like three hours, I want to stay here with you for as long as possible." He says with a little smirk; cupping my jaw, and bringing my face closer to his, so he can lean forward and attach our lips.

"Mmm" I hum approvingly.

"I wish we could stay here like this too." I say, when he lays his head back down against the pillow. I bring my head down so my chin is sitting at the center of his chest.

"Where did you get this scar from?" He asks after a few minutes of silence, his thumb running back and forth over it.

"When I was fourteen, some friends and I were running from the cops after they came to a party we were at. My friend Annie and I decided to sneak through this hole in a fence near her house, and a part of the fence cut me."

"Did they catch any of you?"

"Just one of the guys we were with." I answer and he nods.

"How'd you get these scars?" I ask tracing the scars on his shoulder, and collarbone. He turns his head to the side a little looking towards my hand on his shoulder.

"That one I got when I was undercover a few months back, and I got shot at Molly's, it was how I got into Intelligence actually."

"And this one?" I say; turning my attention to the curved pink line at the base of his neck. His body tenses, and I can feel his heart start to pound against his chest. He shifts his body, and slides out from under me. My body instantly feels cold, and I wrap the sheets around myself. He swings his legs off the side of the bed, and I think he's going to leave. Then he runs his hand through his hair, and let's out a deep breath.

"It was from my second tour, my unit and I were heading back to base, and I had gotten out of the Humvee to open a gate, and this guy came out of no where, he had a knife to my throat, and was rambling in a language I'd never heard before. The way he had positioned us, it didn't seem like I was getting out of it, but one of the guy's in my unit got out the other side of the Humvee. He managed to get behind us, and shot him. His knife cut into my skin somehow when he went down. We found out the next day that we had, I had killed his son." He says his voice cracking towards the end, and I regret asking even more now, and having him replay that memory in his head. I scoot closer to him, and wrap my arms around him. My palms lay flat against his chest, and I can feel his heart continue to pound for a few more moments before it slows again.

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

She kisses the back of my neck a couple times, and I relax a little, before I turn around. She looks down as soon as I face her. I bring my hand up to cup her cheek and her watery eyes look up to mine.

"It's ok." I say, and she gives me a weak smile.

"Why don't we get some more sleep." I suggest, as I get up to put my boxers on, and she grabs my arm.

"Stay."

"I'm just putting my boxers on babe, in case we have a little visitor later." I say gesturing towards the door

"I should probably put something on too." She says, and I nod

"Yeah unfortunately." I say with a smile, and she gets up and grabs my t shirt. I watch as the material makes its way down her body. We both lay back down, her back is to me and I pull into me, so her back to pressed tightly against my front.

"Thank you." She says after a few minutes.

"What are you thanking me for?"

"For sharing that with me."

"I want to share with you, it's just something I have to get used to." I say and she turns in my arms. I lean forward and place a kiss to her lips. She pulls away and nuzzles her face into my neck. After another few minutes, her breathing evens out, and I fall asleep not long after her.

XXXXXX

Erin's POV

When my alarm goes off a couple hours later, I don't open my eyes until I realize that I'm alone. I reach for my phone; turning off the alarm before looking around the room. His flannel, and jeans are gone. I get out of the bed, and go to the bathroom, before I go to the kitchen. There's a fresh pot of coffee, with a note in front of it.

' _Hey babe,_

 _I wish I could of woke up with you, but Voight called us in early. Enjoy your coffee, and have a good day. I'll talk to you later._

 _-Jay'_

I pour myself a mug, just as Grace knocks on the door. I go to let her in, and she gives a smirk. Reminding me that I'm only wearing Jay's shirt.

"Good morning." I say

"Mmhmm I'm sure you're having a really good morning." She says, and I feel heat rise in my face as I begin to blush, I nod and turn away from her. I take my mug with me to my room, before I get ready for my day. About a half hour later I walk back out the kitchen, and see Cole sitting at the table.

"Good morning little man you're up early." He just nods; still looking a little sleepy, as he brings a spoonful of lucky charms up to his mouth. I chuckle at him as I walk over and place a kiss to his head.

"I'll see you later, be good for Grace, and have fun at school."

"Ok, bye Auntie Erin." He says as I leave the kitchen and living room area, and head towards the door. I grab my keys and jacket and go to work.

XXXXXX

The day though hectic, as usual, it went by quickly, and I'm home before I know it. As I set my keys down on the table by the door, my phone rings, and Cole comes running to hug my leg, and he nearly knocks me over.

"Hi bud, did you have a good day?" I ask, and he shakes his head.

"No?" I say, picking him up, and he puts his head on my shoulder, before I answer my phone, not looking at who's calling.

"Hello?"

"Hey, what are you doing right now?" Jay asks

"I just got home."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"I agreed to watch Owen tonight, and I was wondering if maybe you, and Cole would want to come to Jumpin' Jacks with us."

"What is that?" I ask

"It's a place with a bunch of bounce houses, and a little arcade inside." He says, and I look at Cole still laying his head on my shoulder.

XXXXXX

Jay's POV

I get a little nervous when she doesn't say anything at first.

"I don't know. Do you want to go to somewhere fun with Jay, Cole?" She says, and then I don't hear anything again after that.

"Ok, I'll go change, and then we'll meet you there."

"Ok." I say, and then she hangs up. I finish buckling Owen into his booster seat, before closing the back door of my truck, and climbing into the drivers seat. I put the key in the ignition, and start the car before pulling out of my brother's driveway, and driving to Jumpin' Jacks. When we get there, we walk to the entrance and buy the admission, while we wait for them to get here.

"Hey." I hear her familiar raspy voice say from behind me.

"Hey." I say turning around to face her. I give her a confused look when I see that she's carrying Cole, who appears to be sleeping, but then I see that his eyes are open. Once she's standing next to me, she puts him down, and he clings to her leg.

"Hi Owen." She says looking at him; turning Cole around, and bending down to be at eye level with them.

"This is Cole."

"Hi Cole." Owen says.

"Hi." Cole says quietly.

"Who wants to go in the bouncy houses?"

"Me" Owen says excitedly, and he looks at Cole expectantly, waiting for him to react. Owen starts to walk towards the door.

We go to sit at a table, and take off their shoes. I look over at Cole, and see that he has become excited since seeing the games and bounce houses. Once I get Owen's shoes off, he runs to the red and blue inflatable house next to the table, and Cole follows closely behind him.

"They're going to be ok, right?" Erin asks, and I look at her, and can tell she's worried.

"Yeah of course. Why wouldn't they be?"

"I don't know."

"They'll be fine, and we'll be right here." I say, walking closer to her; pulling her into me, and giving her a quick kiss.

"What was up with Cole, when you got here?"

"He's been quiet since I got home, but I think he was just tired from waking up at six. He took a nap on the way here." She says, still looking at the two of them jumping and laughing.

"Sit down and relax babe." I say, and she sits down next to me. I take her hand in mine, and give it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm going to order mini pizzas for them, but what kind of pizza should I get us?" I say looking at the menu, and then looking at her.

"Er."

"Um pepperoni."

"They're fine." I whisper into her ear, and she nods hesitantly. I order the food, and about fifteen minutes later they bring us our pizzas. Erin tells the boys to come eat, and I see both of them bounce down the ramp, and get out. They both come running to the table, with huge smiles on their faces.

Both of them finish their pizzas quickly, and get up to run back to the bounce house.

"Whoa hang on a second, maybe we should play some games before you go back in." I say, and they come back to stand next to the table, anxiously waiting.

"I don't want a repeat of last time."

"What happened last time." Erin says as we stand to go play games.

"Owen ate, and then went back in, and about twenty jumps later, he threw up all over the inside." I answer and she chuckles.

"Way to go Jay."

"Uncle Jay, can we play this one?" Owen asks, and I swipe the playing card.

We spend another hour and a half there, before they close. We put their shoes, and jackets back on, and I carry Owen out. Her car is parked only a couple spaces from mine.

"Ok well what do you say to Jay, Cole?"

"Thank You." He says.

"You're welcome little man, did you have fun?" I say and ask, and he nods.

"Good." I say looking down at him, and ruffling his hair, and he giggles.

"You should probably get him home, and into bed." Erin says as she brings her hand up to rub Owen's back.

"Yeah, Nat and Will just text asking where we are."

"Ok well thank you, tonight was fun." She says taking a step towards me and standing on her tip toes to give me a kiss. Ignoring the "Eww" from Cole.

"Next time, it'll be just us." I say and she smiles

"Ok, goodnight." She whispers against my lips, before attaching them with hers once more.

"Goodnight Er." I say as she walks to her car.

I get Owen in the truck and drive him home. Will meets us outside, and takes a sleeping Owen and the car seat out. And then I go back to my apartment. I fall onto my bed, and pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow.

XXXXXX


	8. Chapter 8

Two months later

"Halstead." Jay says

"Hey babe." Erin says into the phone.

"Hey."

"How's your day going?" She says

"Fine, yours?"

"Not so good."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now."

"Oook so what's up?"

"I have a huge favor to ask you." She says

"Shoot."

"Grace asked off for tonight, and I totally forgot, and I agreed to cover another nurse's half shift, so I-" She stops

"So you need me to pick up Cole."

"Yeah, I kind of wanted him to be at home, but I can just ask Hank, I shouldn't have asked-"

"Er, it's fine I'll pick him up, but I need you to text me the school's address." He says calmly.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"You're the best." She says with a huge smile on her face.

"I know." He says, and they both chuckle.

"Oh and he has-"

"Soccer in a hour, I'll get him there."

"Thank you, I'll make it up to you." She says with an extra rasp to her voice. He gets what she's implying, but he doesn't need her to repay him, or thank him. He cares about her, for both of them, and he's happy to help.

"No problem babe, text me the addresses."

"Ok, I got to go, but I'll see you guys tonight."

"Ok, bye." He says, before they hang up. She gets him the addresses of the elementary school, and sports complex within minutes.

Jay goes to Voight's office, he knocks on the door, causing the sergeant to look up.

"What can I do for you Halstead?"

"I uh I was wondering if I could cut out early? I got my paperwork done."

"Everything alright?"

"Uh yeah, I just have a family thing to take care of."

"Alright, I don't see a problem with you leaving then."

"Thanks."

XXXXXX

Jay parks his truck in front of the school, and quickly gets out. He follows the signs to the office, where he finds Cole sitting on one of the chairs lining the wall.

"Jay!" Cole says excitedly as he hops off the chair, and runs to him; hugging his leg.

"Hey bud, I have to sign you out, and then I'll take you to soccer."

"That won't be necessary Halstead." Jay hears a familiar gravely voice from behind him, and before he can turn around to look at him, Cole notices him, and yells "Grandpa!"

' _Shit!'_ Jay says in his head, as he turns around.

"Family thing uh?" Hank says "I thought I made myself clear that you needed to end things with her."

"I-"

"Go home Jay, we'll talk tomorrow."

"Yes sir." Jay says, as he leaves the office, not wanting to cause a scene in the elementary school office, or in front of Cole. So walks out of the school, and drives to his apartment.

XXXXXX

Later that night

Erin drops her keys in the bowl, and walks further into her apartment. She's ready to take a shower, and go to bed with Jay. But she stops in her tracks when she sees Hank sitting on her couch. She can't stop the dumbfounded look that crosses her face, as her pseudo father looks at her.

"Hank, hey, umm what are you doing here?"

"You know if you're going to play house with one of my detectives against my wishes, you should probably make sure that Cole's school doesn't call me, letting me know that you didn't pick him up."

"Hank, I'm not in the mood to listen to you spew your bullshit about _my_ relationship with Jay." She yells, forgetting that Cole's sleeping just down the hall.

"That's fine, I'll make it simple, I'm going to be talking to him in the morning, but I'll leave it up to you, whether or not he'll be handing in his badge." He says, as he stands from the couch, and walks to the door. Once he leaves, Erin goes to her room to take a shower. The steady stream of water beating down on her tired body, helps her sort through her thoughts. When she steps out, and onto the cool tile floor, she dries off and throws on the panties and shirt she grabbed before going in. She brushes her hair, and teeth, before going to her room. She takes her phone off of the charger, and dials his number.

"Hello." He says groggily, and she feels bad that she woke him.

"Hey." She says sadly.

"I'm sorry, I know I said I'd pick him up, but Voight told me to go home, and I-" He says hurriedly as he quickly comes out of his sleepy state.

"Jay, it's fine, I totally forgot about him being an emergency contact, but I wasn't calling to talk to you about that." She says, attempting to swallow the lump that's forming in her throat.

"Is everything ok?" He asks, concerned.

"No." She honestly admits.

"I'll be right over." He says, springing up from his bed.

"No Jay, I just need you to listen."

"Are you sure? Cause I can be over in like five minutes."

"Yeah I'm sure, it's just been a long day."

"Tell me about it?"

"During my lunch Nadia called me, and told me that she'll be coming home next week, and she's going to be staying at Hank's with Cole"

"That's great Er."

"I know, and I'm crazy happy that's she's well enough to be getting out of there, but a selfish part of me, was hoping she and Cole would be staying here, with me."

"But you're going to see them all the time babe." He says

"I know, but on top of that it was a bad day at work, and then tonight with Hank." She says with a sniffle

"I'm coming over."

"No Jay, please don't. It'll only make this harder."

"Make what harder?"

"Getting to know you these last five months, I've seen how much you care for others, and how important it is to you to help keep this city safe, and you've worked hard to be where you are, and I can't take that from you."

"We're not doing this again." He says, shaking his head, he grabs his keys, and leaves his apartment.

"Erin-"

"I'm sorry Jay-" She says, and the dam breaks, as tears flood from her eyes. She pulls the phone away from her ear, not wanting to hear his broken voice plead with her. She looks down at her phone, his little picture still up as she presses the red button, and whispers ' _I love you.'_

He gets to her apartment minutes later, and lightly knocks on the door; not wanting to wake anyone. Minutes go by and she doesn't answer, so he knocks again.

Tears are still streaming down her cheeks, and her heart aching, as she hears his light knocks, and his whispers through the door. She gets up to close her bedroom door, and hopes that he'll go away.

He doesn't go though, he instead ops to sit up against the wall just to the side of her apartment door. That is until his phone rings, and he's called to a crime scene. He gets up reluctantly, and leaves the apartment building.

XXXXXX

At the district later that morning Voight calls Jay to his office.

"So things between you and Erin?" Voight says, and Jay thinks _'Not that it's any of your business.'_

"She ended things this morning." Jay says

"Alright well you're going undercover."

"With all due respect sir can Ruzek, or Atwater go under."

"I wasn't asking Halstead, it's an order. This guy we're investigating, this Rodger Blount, he and most of his crew are ex military, you'll fit the bill more than Ruzek or Atwater will. Dawson and Olinsky will get you ready, you leave tonight." He says sternly.

"Anything else?"

"No." Voight says, and nods. Jay doesn't say anything else; nodding in return as he turns to leave the office.

"Look Jay, I'm just looking out for you both." Voight says, and Jay turns back to look at his sergeant.

"Are you really though? You're looking out for both of us? You know what I think is you were looking out for yourself, you couldn't stand the thought of her not needing you anymore. But she's a grown woman, and she's stronger than even you know. She's smart, funny, caring and so many other things, and I've fallen so madly in love with her in the span of five months. But now I'm getting put undercover, and she won't even talk to me, I can't even say goodbye. So congratulations Sarge, you succeeded in splitting us up, I just hope that Erin can eventually find someone you approve of, cause she deserves love like no one else." Jay says, before exiting the office.

XXXXXX

Jay goes home and packs a bag. Once the bag is full, he puts the strap on his shoulder, before he walks to his kitchen. He pulls out a blank piece of paper, and begins to write her a letter.

It's just past six, and he saw her car parked in its usual spot. He parks his truck, and runs up to her apartment. Much to his disappointment she doesn't answer, and he finds himself having to blink back tears, as he slides the folded piece of paper under the door, and then with a heavy heart he leaves. A lone tear makes its way down his cheek, as he looks back at apartment three ten for what might be the last time.

She walks to the door a little bit later, and sees the folded piece of paper on the floor. She feels her heart rate pick up, as she bends over to grab the paper. 'Er' is written in cursive on the top, and then she unfolds it, and walks back towards her living room.

' _Dear Erin,_

 _I haven't written a letter to someone in a while, not since I was overseas. And only a handful of those letters to home, hurt me as much as writing this one does. I'm going undercover tonight. I don't know for how long, but I do know that I'm going to miss you, whether I'm gone for two hours or two years. I'm going to miss your smile, your laugh, your heart, everything that is you. One blind date, and five months have changed my life, and I've fallen in love with this amazingly beautiful human. I've fallen in love with you, and if I make it back, I'll wait for you. But if you find someone else, someone worthy of you, well I hope they make you as happy as you have made me these past months, and they love you. Because you deserve it babe, you deserve all the love and happiness this world has to offer. I know you'll continue to take care of the ones you love, but remember to take care of yourself too Er._

 _Love,_

 _Jay'_

By the time she gets done reading his note, tears are cascading down her face for the umpteenth time of the day.

"Auntie Erin, why are you sad?"

"Jay has to leave for a little bit buddy."

"Can we go see him before he leaves?" He asks, his lip quivering, and his eyes becoming watery. Erin nods her head

"Can you go grab a jacket, and then get your shoes on please?" She asks, and he doesn't answer, he just runs to his room. And she sits on the couch, and looks at the letter again. Thinking about how close Jay and Cole have gotten especially in the last month.

XXXXXX

 _Erin is in the kitchen, making dinner, and Jay and Cole are in the living room. They were playing with the legos that Jay had just got for Cole. She can't see them, but she can hear them talking and laughing. Then it's quiet for a while, and then there's a crash. She turns the stove off, and runs to the living room. Both Jay and Cole are standing, and a soccer ball rolls towards the windows. Both boys' eyes are wide, Cole has both his hands over his mouth, and Jay's jaw has dropped; looking at the broken picture frame on the floor. She doesn't say anything, but Cole bursts into tears, and Jay goes to pick him up._

" _Hey bud, its ok." He says to him_

" _Auntie Erin's mad." Cole says into Jay's shoulder, and Jay looks over at Erin. She looks at him, and walks over to them._

" _Hey little man, it's ok, but now we know why we shouldn't play with the ball inside right?" She says calmly and her nephew nods._

" _Ok, so we're not going to do it again right?" And Cole shakes his head._

" _Alright well go get washed up while Jay cleans up the frame ok?"_

" _Ok." He says with a sniffle, as Jay puts him down. As soon as Cole leaves the room, she smacks Jay's arm._

" _Oww." He says_

" _Are you five, why would you kick a ball around with him?"_

" _He gave me those sad puppy dog eyes."_

" _I'll go get the broom." She says rolling her eyes at her boyfriend._

" _I can clean it up babe."_

" _Oh I know, and you are." She says, disappearing into the hall, and then returning with the broom and dust pan._

 _The three of them eat dinner, and then Jay cleans up the kitchen, and does the dishes while Erin gives Cole a bath._

 _Jay's just finishing up the last few dishes when he feels a pair of arms wrap around his waist._

" _Is he asleep?" He asks_

" _No, he asked for you, so I told him I'd get you." She says, giving him a kiss on the neck. He rinses off the last utensil, before turning the water off, and turning around in her arms._

 _They walk to Cole's room, Erin stops at the doorway and leans against the frame. As Jay walks into the blue room, but Cole's not there._

" _Where'd he go?" He turns and asks Erin, and she shrugs with a grin. Then he hears Cole giggle, he pretends to look around the room, before opening the trunk at the foot of the bed, and he picks Cole up out of the trunk, and throws him in the air, and then catches him. Cole giggling the whole time._

" _Alright little man time for bed." Jay says as he sets the little boy down on the bed, and pulls the blankets up. He reads him a story, and then Cole asks for him to read another one, and Jay not being able to deny him with those big brown eyes, gives in. With the second book, Cole falls asleep, and Jay leans over and places a gentle kiss to his forehead, and Erin's heart swells; still standing in the same spot._

XXXXXX

"Auntie Erin, I'm ready." Cole says; breaking his aunt from her thoughts. She gets her shoes on, before picking Cole up, and leaving the apartment.

When they get to the district, she goes to the front desk, hoping Trudy will still be there. She is, and Erin asks if the unit is still there.

"They were in the garage; getting Halstead ready."

"Can you take us there, please?" Erin says.

"Of course, this way." Trudy says, leading the way to the garage, but when they get there, it's only Hank, and Al.

"He's gone?" Erin asks, and Hank nods. She stands there with Cole on her hip for several minutes, trying her hardest to keep the tears at bay. She slowly walks out the way she came, and goes back to her car. She turns the car on and starts to drive home. She looks in the rearview mirror, and sees Cole looking out the window, a slight pout to his lips, and that's when her tears fall again.

Jay's gone, and she's not the only one who's heartbroken, but she's the only one to blame.

XXXXXX

 **A/N: Your lovely thoughts and reviews would be greatly appreciated.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I think this story is coming to an end sooner than I had expected, but I don't want to drag anything out much more. I hope that the last couple chapters aren't too predictable, and that you enjoy them.**

 **XXXXXX**

" _He's gone?" Erin asks, and Hank nods. She stands there with Cole on her hip for several minutes, trying her hardest to keep the tears at bay. She slowly walks out the way she came, and goes back to her car. She turns the car on and starts to drive home. She looks in the rearview mirror, and sees Cole looking out the window, a slight pout to his lips, and that's when her tears fall again._

 _Jay's gone, and she's not the only one who's heartbroken, but she's the only one to blame._

XXXXXX

Erin wipes her cheeks as she makes her way to the door. It's been a little over two weeks since Erin broke up with Jay, and he went undercover. And a week ago Cole moved in with Hank, after Nadia got out of rehab. And it's the first day she doesn't have work, or something to distract her, and keep her mind off the fact that she's alone for the first time since she's come back from New York. She slowly opens the door, and finds her perky, and happy sister on the other side, with Cole. She's sniffles as she gives them a weak smile. She feels bad when she sees the bright smile on her little sister's face fall, and turn into a frown. They both go closer to Erin, and give her a hug.

"Hey sis."

"Hey." Erin says; roughly wiping her cheeks.

"Auntie Erin do you miss Uncle Jay?" Cole asks when Erin picks him, and gives him a tight hug. Her eyes go wide, at the fact that he called him Uncle Jay. She gives him another weak smile, and nods her head; clearing her throat of the lump that's forming, before she speaks.

"Very much little man." She says; putting him back down.

"Can I play in my room please?" He asks

"Of course." Erin says, and he runs off.

"So what's up Nads?"

"I just wanted to come see you, you haven't really answered any of my texts, and when you do it's just one word responses."

"Sorry."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"So you going to continue sitting here, throwing yourself a pity party."

"I'm fine Nadia, I'll get over it."

"This wasn't just random one night stand, or some summer fling Erin. You love him." Nadia says, and Erin goes to interrupt her, but the younger sister just continues.

"Don't try to deny it Erin, I may be younger, but I'm not dumb or blind. I saw the way the two of you were with each other the couple times that you brought him with you to the rehab center. He's amazing, and he's everything you deserve Erin." She says, and Erin shakes her head.

"No? No what?" Nadia asks loudly.

"It was a mistake Nadia, it was all a mistake. I should have never gone on that blind date."

"No, going on that blind date wasn't a mistake Erin, letting him in, and falling in love with him, weren't mistakes. What was a mistake was letting Hank come between you and the man you love Erin."

"It doesn't matter now, he's gone, and his job that he loves isn't at risk."

"You think he loves the job more than you? Is that it? That's what's been planted in your head?"

"It's true."

"No it's not, it's bullshit is what it is. I've never known you to just give up like this Erin." She says, and Erin sighs

"I didn't think that kind of love existed, the kind of love that read about in some romance novel, or see in a cheesy movie. But that look, those literal heart eyes he gave you, told the whole story, and it's not something that could be faked Erin. The love he has for you is real. Now obviously I'm not him, but I don't think anything could take your place, especially not his job."

"So much for not talking about it." Erin says as she gets up from her spot on the couch.

"Fine, I'll drop it for now, but he's not going to be undercover forever, he's going to come back Erin." Nadia says, and Erin thinks _'Yeah, but I might not be here when he does.'_ She gives her sister a simple response of

"Yeah." As she walks to Cole's room to hang with him, in hopes of leaving the conversation behind.

XXXXXX

He's in his undercover apartment, and he's lost in his thoughts. It's been a month and a half, and any time he's alone he's thinking of her. He's distracted, and when his phone rings, he doesn't pay attention to who's calling.

"Hello." He says.

"Detective Jay Halstead." His new "boss" Rodger Blount says on the other side. And before Jay can even think of a response, the dead bolt on the apartment door is being shot off, and the door swings open. He gets tased, as he goes to get his gun. He hits his head on the table as he goes down, and then everything goes black. He goes in and out of consciousness as they carry him out the back exit of the run down apartment building he's called home the last six weeks. The next time he wakes up, he's being pushed out of the back of a truck at the side of the road. He groans loudly, and lets out what can only be described as a painful yelp as his tired and sore body hits the pavement. He rolls so he's not on his right shoulder which he's sure is dislocated, and possibly broken. He tries to focus on where he is, he turns his head to the side, and notices the rust stained concrete stairs, and black doors of the twenty first district. He tries to form words as he sees two pairs of feet walk out, but nothing comes out of his mouth. The two people run to his side, and he feels one of them hold his head up and off the ground, and he's able to focus of their face, long enough to recognize that its Burgess. Then everything goes black again.

XXXXXX

She's just packing the last of her clothes in one of her suitcases when her phone rings. She picks it up and sees her sister's name and picture flashing across it.

"Nadia I can't really talk right now, our flight's in-" She says looking over at the alarm clock on her nightstand.

"Erin." Nadia says sternly

"In five hours, and we still have to get all our stuff to the-"

"Erin!" She yells into the phone.

"It's Jay."

"What?" Erin says; shaking her head.

"He's-" She says, pausing and sniffling.

"He's what Nadia?" Erin yells into the phone, and her heart drops as she waits for the answer.

"He's in the hospital."

"What hospital?"

"Med." She answers, as Erin grabs her keys, and leaving the apartment.

XXXXXX

Erin rushes into the ED of Chicago Med, a place that's she spent more time in over the last thirteen months. She's met with the whole Intelligence unit, along with Nadia, as well as Will and Natalie.

"What's going on?" She asks; looking around at anyone who will answer.

"He was made, they tortured him, and dumped him at the doorstep of the district." Hank answers, but he's to be the only one she avoids eye contact with.

"Where is he now?" She asks next; mainly looking between Will and Natalie.

Will sighs before answering. "His right shoulder was dislocated, and he was tased and has several deep lacerations to his abdomen, he also had some kind of drug in his system, and a mild concussion. They have to stop the bleeding and stitch him up but he should he fine."

"I know you guys are flying out to New York soon, so why don't you head out, and I'll keep you updated on Halstead." Hank says; mostly looking at Erin, but also glancing at Nadia as well.

"You'd like that wouldn't you? I pushed our flight back on the way here, I'm not going anywhere until I see him, and see that he's ok." She spits at her pseudo father. He gives her a stern look, one that would have anyone else heading to his orders, but she just glares back at him.

"Erin a minute?" Hank asks, pointing outside. She hesitantly nods, and walks outside.

"I get it, you blame me for the two of you breaking up-"

"Hank I-"

"Just listen. Its for the best, look where we are Erin, this is what the job entails, and it's not the life I ever saw for you."

"We broke up, and yet I'm still here Hank." She yells; finally allowing the tears to fall.

"I love him, and it's because I love him that I'm still going to go to New York with Nadia and Cole. You still win Hank. He's a good guy, he's _the_ best guy, and he doesn't deserve someone like me, but you already knew that." She says as she walks back into the ED.

"Where's Will, and Nat?" Erin asks when she gets back to the waiting room.

"Jay just got done, and they went to see him." Kim answers

"Is he awake?" Erin then asks.

"Not yet, but the doctor believes he will be soon." Nadia answers.

XXXXXX

Erin and Nadia are the last ones to go in, and see Jay, and by the time they get to his room they're told visiting hours end at in a half hour. The sisters both nod their heads at the nurse, that Erin's not familiar with, before they walk past the two uniformed officers, and into the dark room. Erin gasps as she looks at the man in the bed, he still looks just as strong, but yet he looks, not weak but broken. His face has three blue and purple bruises, and his soft, freckled upper lip is split. His right arm is in a sling. The continuous and steady beep coming from the machines, calm her a little, but her heart is still racing. She slowly walks to the side of the bed, and runs her fingers over the thick stubble along his jaw. She leans down, and places a kiss to his forehead letting her lips linger right next to the bruise near his temple.

"I love you." She whispers as she backs away. Nadia just stands back, and watches her sister; her heartbreaks as she sees the tears run down Erin's cheeks. Then she turns to leave the room. Nadia looks over to Jay once more before she too exits the room.

XXXXXX

"We don't have to go Erin." Nadia says

"Yeah we do visiting hours are almost over."

"I wasn't talking about the hospital Erin, although you probably would have been able to stay with him if we'd asked. I was talking about going to New York."

"You agreed it'd be a good move."

"Yeah it is, but you'd be leaving him behind."

"Nadia, let's not do this again please?" Erin says, and Nadia stops. The next time she talks is when they pull up to Hank's house.

"When did you push the flight back to?"

"Friday morning."

"So we only have one day?"

"Yeah Nads." Erin says.

"The moving truck will be here tomorrow to get yours and Cole's stuff, after they get the rest of the furniture, and boxes from my apartment."

"Ok." Nadia says as she gets out of the car.

XXXXXX

"Good morning." Jay hears, his sister in law say as he slowly blinks, and opens his eyes.

"Morning." He says groggily.

"How you feeling?" She asks

"Like shit."

"Uncle Jay has a potty mouth, doesn't he?" Will says as he walks in with Owen in his arms. Jay looks to the side to look at the clock, and sees that it's already noon.

"I haven't slept through anyone else being here, have I?"

"Just your unit, but something tells me that's not who were thinking about?" Will says, as he puts Owen down, and the little boy goes to climb up next to his uncle.

"Has she been by at all?" He asks looking at his nephew.

"She was here all last night." Natalie says.

"Daddy I'm hungry." Owen says from the bed.

"Alright lets go get you something to eat now." Will says picking him up again, before they leave the room; leaving Nat and Jay alone again.

"She's leaving Jay." Natalie says after a few minutes of silence.

"What?"

"Her, Nadia, and Cole they're going to New York in the morning. I just thought you should know." She says, and he sits up. He's speechless. _'She's leaving? They're leaving?'_ He thinks.

The rest of the day seems to go by in a blur, with nurses and doctors coming in constantly, and the unit coming to visit. But time slows when his boss comes in, and he was sure that he was going to be killed before his sergeant left, but the conversation went better than he expected. Not too long after Voight leaves, someone he wasn't expecting to come walks in.

XXXXXX

 **A/N: Please review?**


	10. Chapter 10

The little boy's dark eyes are big, and fearful; worry etched across his face, as he cautiously walks into the room. Jay sees Nadia standing near the outside of the door, he nods at her, and she waves, but doesn't make a move to interrupt Jay and her son. Jay gives him a warm smile, in hopes that he won't be so scared, but he stops at the foot of the bed. That's when Jay sees that his eyes are watery. Jay extends his left arm out to the side, silently inviting him to come by him, but he shakes his head.

"It's ok little man….I'm ok." Jay says softly, and that's all the encouragement Cole needs, before he walks to Jay's left side. Jay ruffles Cole's hair, causing the little boy to giggle for a second.

"I miss you Uncle Jay." Cole says, and Jay looks at Nadia in shock, and she shakes her head and shrugs with a weak smile.

"I miss you too bud." Jay says, as he helps Cole climb onto the bed. Once he's next to Jay, he gives him a hug. Jay winces a little when his little arm brushes against some of his stitches. Nadia looks at him concerned, but Jay shakes his head at her.

"I'm fine." He says quietly to Nadia.

"What's this?" Jay asks Cole, pointing to the paper clutched in his little hands.

"Mommy said I could color a picture for you to help you get better." Cole says; handing Jay the paper. Jay can't help but smile at the colorful picture.

"Thank you, you did a really good job." Jay says looking at him briefly before looking back at the picture.

Then there's a knock at the door, and Natalie, and Will stand next to Nadia. Owen sleeping in Will's arms.

"Ok monkey say bye to Uncle Jay." Nadia says, Cole and Jay both look at each other, and Cole gives him another hug, but this time Jay feels his heart clench and his eyes become watery especially when he hears Cole whisper "I love you Uncle Jay." He says it so quietly, Jay almost missed it. He places a kiss to Cole's head. "I love you too little man." And then Cole hops off the bed, and walks over to his mom, and grabs her hand.

"Bye Nadia." Jay says as they turn to leave. She turns her head towards him.

"I'll be right back." She says as they turn to leave with Will following behind them. Natalie stays, and walks further into the room.

"Should I be worried?"

"No, we just want to help you, both of you." She says, and not too long after Nadia walks back in.

"Since when are you two friends?" Jay questions.

"Since her sister, my best friend has been utterly heartbroken for the last six weeks."

"My sister is stubborn."

"That's the biggest understatement of the century." Jay says sarcastically, and Nadia smiles at that.

"Yeah well she's miserable, and she won't listen to anyone. She thinks us moving to New York will make things better, but I know deep down she knows that's not true."

"So what do you want me to do? She broke up with me remember?"

"We want you to fight for her." Nadia says

"How would you like me to do that? Even if I were to go to her apartment tonight, she won't answer the door for me, and I'm not exactly capable of kicking down her door right now." He says gesturing to the hospital bed.

"Who said anything about kicking down the door." Nadia says holding up a key.

"You're ok with me leaving the hospital?" He asks Natalie.

"Not really, but you're being released tomorrow anyways, so what's the difference if you leave a few hours early. Erin's become one of my best friends and you're my brother in law, and I want you guys to be happy." Natalie says, and Jay nods, as he swings he legs off the side of the bed.

XXXXXX

She's sitting on the floor of the bathroom looking at the white stick in her hand. She's been sick the last week or so, she was blaming it on the stress, but the last time she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet, she thought maybe it wasn't. She still had the box under the sink from last month when Natalie thought that she might be pregnant, and didn't want to get a test done at the hospital, and risk people finding out. Erin remembers letting her cry into her shoulder, in the same spot she's sitting in now, when the test came back negative.

"Hey sis." Nadia says as she walks into her sister's now empty room, and then she sees Erin sitting on the floor holding a test in her hands; her face stained from her tears.

"I should be relieved. When you're not with the father, you should be relieved that it's negative, right?" Erin asks sadly as Nadia kneels in front of her.

"When I took the test with Cole, I was scared. I wasn't ready, and I thought I'd be relieved if it came back negative. But those few minutes of waiting I started thinking about what he or she would like, would they look like me or their dad, brown eyes or green, straight hair or wavy. And by the time the timer went off, I felt I would have been disappointed, heartbroken really if it hadn't been positive." Nadia says; sighing.

"You're allowed to be disappointed or sad. Your heart doesn't give a shit about what your brain says you are or aren't supposed to feel Erin." Nadia adds; pulling Erin into a hug.

"Wavy brown hair, blue green eyes, and freckles. That's what I envisioned while waiting." Erin says into her sister's shoulder after a few minutes.

"You can still have ridiculously cute babies who'll be the combination of their mommy and daddy, and who'll of course love their cool Aunt Nadia like crazy." Nadia replies, causing Erin let out a huff, that the younger brunette believes was an attempt at a laugh. "You can still have that, and him."

"We're moving tomorrow Nads."

"So? You can cancel the flight, and the moving company can bring just the stuff back, they were going to have unload it anyways." Nadia says.

"I'm sure he doesn't want to see me." Erin then says

"Well seeing as how he's sitting in your living room right now I'd say he does." Nadia replies, neither of them say anything else, and after a while Erin's tears stop, and Nadia gives her a hug before leaving the room.

Less than two minutes later Jay pokes his head in the bedroom, and then he takes tentative steps towards the bathroom. He feels his heart rate pick up, as he sees Erin on the floor with a little white stick in her hand. He took a couple deep breaths before stepping in the bathroom.

"Hey." He says quietly.

"Hey." She says sadly; not looking up.

"Is that-?" He asks with a hint of excitement in his voice that he tries but fails to hide.

"Yeah." She answers, lifting the white stick up a little before bringing her hand back down to rest on the top of her knee.

"Are you-?" He begins, and she shakes her head, and tries to hold back a sob, but it ultimately leaves her lips.

"But I guess that's a good thing."

"Why's that?" He asks confused, and she finally looks up at him, and his heartbreaks even more when he sees her eyes rimmed red; the whites of her eyes tinted pink making her hazel irises pop.

"I mean yeah the timing's not exactly perfect, but is there ever really a perfect time? I would have been excited, and I'm guessing by the fact that you're sitting on the floor still holding the test that you would have been too. So why is it a good thing?"

"We're not together Jay, and it's for the better."

"Why because your dad said it was?" He yells

"He's not my dad, but he is your boss, and I don't want to be the reason you get kicked out of Intelligence. Its dangerous, and it scares the shit out of me that there's a possibility you're not going to make it home one night, but I'd never ask for you to give up doing what you love."

"I quit Erin." He says, but she's not looking at him, and she doesn't hear him so she just continues. "And you deserve someone normal. Someone better than me, who deserves to be your girlfriend, your wife, the mother of your children." She says; getting up from the floor and looking at the test one more time, before throwing it in the plastic bag hanging from the vanity. She stubbornly wipes away the fresh batch of tears running down her cheeks as she turns to face him. He's closer to her than she expected, and he's able reach out, and cup her cheek with his left hand. She leans into his touch briefly before backing away.

"I quit a few hours ago." He says again, and she just looks at him confused.

"I do love being a cop, but before you I was reckless, I didn't care about taking a bullet, or about making it home at night. But since the first date with you, I've made sure to go in with back up, and be less reckless. Since meeting you I haven't needed to drink until I was black out drunk in order to go home after work. I looked forward to going home and having you come over, or coming here. I looked forward to talking to you, and going to sleep next to you; waking up with you." He says taking a step towards her.

"I don't care if I have to work as a mall cop for the rest of my life as long as I have you. I don't want someone else to be my girlfriend, my wife or the mother of my children. I only want you, I only need you." He says taking yet another step, he cups her cheek again, and leans down slowly. His eyes search hers as he whispers "I love you." Then he leans the rest of the way in and attaches his lips to hers. When they part, he gently presses his forehead against hers.

"I love you too." She says back, before giving him another kiss.

Jay's phone dings as they leave the bathroom. He keeps walking next Erin, as he takes his phone out of the pocket of his sweatpants.

Nadia- _"We're at your brother's when you guys are ready."_

He shakes his head, and smiles at the phone.

"What?" Erin asks him.

"It's your sister."

"What'd she say?"

"They're at Will's when we're ready."

"You can go, I'm just going to finish up here."

"Are you still going to leave?" He asks; turning to face her, as she nods her head, looking down. He cups her jaw for the third time; getting her to look at him.

"There's a reason I left Chicago before Jay."

"I know I guess I was just hoping there'd be a reason for you to stay this time." Jay says, and now it's his turn to look down.

"There is." She says; cupping his jaw.

"You're my reason Jay, but you just told me that you basically quit your job for me today, I can't ask you to leave your life, and your family behind for me too." She says, and he nods; with a weak smile as he digests her words.

"I didn't basically quit for you, I did quit for you." He says, and she chuckles lightly.

"I quit for us." He adds.

XXXXXX

Four months later

"Auntie Erin, Auntie Erin wake up!" Cole yells as he jumps up, and down Erin's bed.

"Ok, ok I'm up." Erin says as she rubs her eyes.

"Sorry sis, he's a little excited about going to the zoo." Nadia says as she stands by the door.

"I couldn't tell….I just need some coffee." She says, and Nadia walks further into her room with a mug already in her hands.

The three of them get ready, and go to the central park zoo.

They're standing in front of the sea lion pool, when Erin hears her nephew squeal before he yells

"Uncle Jay!"

Erin turns her head; her eyes covered by her sunglasses, and she watches as her boyfriend scoops Cole up while holding Owen with his other arm.

"Hi Owen." Cole says.

"Hi." Owen replies.

"Hey Erin, hi Nadia." Natalie says as she walks over them, and give them each a hug.

"Hi Nat, Will how was your guys' flight?" Erin asks

"It was better, I still hate it, but thankfully Owen's ears didn't bother him like before, so that made it easier not having a screaming toddler." Nat replies, as Jay puts the boys down. Natalie and Nadia both take their son's hands, and Jay walks over to Erin.

"Hey babe." He says, as he wraps arms around her.

"Hey." She says back, seemingly annoyed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired still, I didn't really sleep well last night."

"You missed me?" He asks, a hint of a smile already making its way on his face.

"No." She says, even though she knows that he's right, after he got called to a crime scene last night, she couldn't fall back to sleep.

"It's ok to admit you lost sleep without me babe. I missed you too." He says, leaning down to give her a kiss.

"Will and Nat will be staying at my place for the week, and I was hoping I could crash with you." He adds shyly, and blushes.

"Jay you're pretty much always at my place anyways, you don't have to ask."

"I know, that's one of the reasons why I suggested that you move in with me last week, but you've been avoiding the subject ever since, so I was starting to think maybe you wanted to slow down or something." He says with a shrug.

"No that's not it at all Jay, but maybe we should talk about this later." She says, and he nods, seemingly forgetting that they're in public.

"Right I uh, I have to get back to the precinct." He says sadly, and he was about to turn away when she grabs his bicep.

"Jay." She says, before giving him a quick peck.

"I'll see you tonight, right?" She asks, and he nods giving her one last kiss before he leaves.

The five of them spend the day in central park, before going back to Erin and Nadia's apartment. Later in the day Jay texts Will

Jay- _I'm leaving work now, do you want me to pick you now or later?_

Will _-Now's fine._

"Jay's on his way Nat." Will says.

"He's not coming up?" Nadia asks.

"I don't know, he just said, he's leaving now, and asked if we wanted him to pick us up now or later." Will answers, and Erin feels her heart sink, and she gets up from the couch, taking their plates to the kitchen.

"Something happen?" Nat asks as she walks into the kitchen.

"He asked me to move in with him last week." Erin says

"And what'd you say?"

"I said I had to think about it, and I have, but he thinks that I want to slow down cause I haven't answered him yet."

"Is that what you want?"

"No, not at all, but I didn't want to talk about it at the zoo, and now he's not coming over."

"I'll get him to come back, but you have to tell him what you want Erin."

"Ok thanks Nat." Erin says; giving her a hug.

"No problem." She says, before leaving the kitchen. Then she pops her back in,

"Is it ok if Owen stays here tonight?"

"Yeah of course." Erin says

XXXXXX

An hour later

Jay uses his key to get into her apartment. He puts his keys on the table, and hangs his jacket up, before walking further into the apartment. He finds Nadia sitting on the couch with Owen curled into her on one side, and Cole on the other side. Nadia brings one finger up to her lips, and Jay nods, she then points down the hall, and he nods again before walking towards Erin's room.

"I didn't think you were coming."

"I thought about just staying home, but Nat told me you wanted to talk to me."

"I do, but not while you're mad."

"I'm not mad Erin." He says raising his voice.

"You could have fooled me."

"I'm just not sure what we're doing, we love each other, we moved to another state together, but you don't want to move in with me." He says a little more calmly.

"I want you to move in with me Jay, here." She says as she gets out of the bed, and walks up to him.

"Nadia's been saying she wants to move out. She and Cole can move into your apartment." She says, and he gives her a smile.

"Why didn't you just say that before?" He asks.

"I was nervous, I am nervous." She says, and even in the dim lighting she can't hide the pink tint to get cheeks. He puts two fingers under her chin, and pushes up.

"Why are nervous?"

"I've never had a real relationship, so I've never had any of these experiences."

"We'll figure it out together." He says and she nods as they lean in, and kiss.

"This is crazy." She whispers against his lips.

"What is?"

"I'd always heard about blind date's that ended up being nightmares, and I was so skeptical about going on one, but here we are in New York, and about to move in together, and I never thought I could love someone as much as I love you." He smiles at her as he attaches his lips to hers again.

"Until you have our kids."

"Yeah but that'll be different." She says; giving his lips a quick peck.

"Wait kids, as in multiple?" She questions as she pulls away from him.

"Yes."

"Maybe, one day."

"Oh it'll definitely happen babe." He says, as they pull the comforter down on the bed. She climbs to the middle of the bed, and waits for him. He pulls off his shirt, and jeans, before climbing into the bed next to her, and outstretches his arm for her to curl into his side. He presses a kiss to her forehead,

"Hey by the way I love you too." He says, and she tilts her head, and he gives her a kiss.

XXXXXX

 **A/N: Whelp that's it peeps, I know it's not a very good ending, but I hope you enjoyed it** **anyways. If you did please leave a review, if you didn't well I guess you'll be happy it's done.**


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